Frozen Solitude
by Crystal-siren-Lilly
Summary: After one tragedy too many Clark Kent has moved into the Fortress of Solitude, letting his heart settle into permafrost, locked away from all humanity. Now an unknown force sets into motion a plan that just might melt a frozen heart.
1. Prologue

**Frozen Solitude**

Warning: This fic has a dark side and has been described as a tissue fic. Rated M for future mature themes and language.

_**Prologue**_

_This was just great. This was the single weirdest thing that had ever happened to her, this was the weirdest thing she had ever even heard of happening to someone, and she had listened to the whole wall of weird explanation. You go to bed one night every thing's normal, the next thing you know your locked in some weird room hoping the tights brigade aren't as insane as their wardrobes. Now what Lane?_

Having nothing better to do in this room that looked somewhat like a walk in closet and desperate for some form of answers she pressed her ear against the plastic looking door and strained to hear. She could just barely make out the voices on the other side.

"So do you think maybe it's a robot?" an all too enthusiastic boyish voice questioned.

"No she's flesh and blood..." She recognized that voice, the flying guy who brought her here.

_What on earth are they talking about? I seem to be the new development... but they must have sad lives to conjecture about me, so I fell from no where on to a freeway... okay so maybe their lives aren't that sad._

"What ever you called me for had better be important." The voice was cold, harsh, commanding and strangely familiar.

"I wouldn't have called you if..." flying guy starts up but then is quickly interrupted by cold familiar voice guy.

"If it's another piece of Brainiac I already told you what to do with those things."

"No, nothing like that - at least we don't think it's anything like that - I said she could be a robot but no body else thinks so - she's kinda hot a little weird and wearing bunny slippers. Oh! she could be an evil alien shape shifter - er no offense there - but to get to the point when we heard what she called herself we knew you were the only one who would know what to do." The kid voiced out in about 2 seconds.

Lois looked down at her now horribly scuffed bunny slippers, Y_ep talking about me. What I called myself? I just told the flying tights man my name-_Before she could finish her thought creepy cold guy spoke.

"What did she call herself." It wasn't a question it was a demand worded like a question.

"Well gulp... she ah called herself Lois Lane." Flying guy said.

"Show me." Lois jumped back from the door ...not knowing what would appear when it opened up. That and the prospect of falling on her face when her support fell through got her moving fast. What she saw when the door slid up shocked her more than anything else to date.

He was tall, his hair slick backed, wearing some weird black and white unitard. His stance, dress and grooming all made her think of the military, he stood tall shoulders back not a hair out of place or a wrinkle to be found. His lips were pulled back into a snarl, his blue-green eyes were colder then his voice, which she had not thought possible, and a flash of anger seemed to jump into them as he examined her closely, but like the rest of him the anger was as cold as ice.

Despite all these things she recognized him at once. She had just seen him yesterday, but everything about him was so wrong it made it hard to believe. So she did the only logical thing she could do. She looked him straight in the eye and said: "Smallville?"


	2. Dead

**Chapter One - Dead**

_He left a small trail of kisses along the left side of her face. She sighed contentedly and looked him in the eye before she plastered on a grin that stretched from ear to ear, how he loved that grin. She was up to something, the grin and the sparkle in her eyes told him all he needed to know. A small chuckle escaped his lips before his fingers crept down to her sides. He still knew a trick or two. With gentle precision he stroked his fingers along her slightly exposed ribs. Giggles burst forth from her and she rolled herself inward._

"Clark!" she gasped out.

He didn't relent until her less steady fingers hooked his ears and pulled his face down into a passionate kiss. He reached up his right hand to cup the side of her face. His thumb gently stroking her cheek, showing his love to every one of her laugh lines. He reached his other hand up to gently brush back the beautiful gray hairs that had fallen across her face. He looked into her deep brown eyes, and saw that look again.

"Lois..." he whispered, please not again.

"Promise me Clark," she pleaded. Tears staining her eyes. "Please, promise me." He turned away. He couldn't face those eyes and he couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

"I can't," was all he could say. Her hand grasped his but he couldn't look, he couldn't face it.

"Clark..." she didn't finish. Her hand felt like ice and the grip fell away. He turned to stare at her now lifeless eyes, her lips still whispering "Promise me..."

He awoke cold. He was situated far to the right side of his bed, he never strayed too far from it, as if he actually shared the large bed with someone. He looked at the clock on the wall, 5 hours of sleep, 2 more than he usually got and this weeks high by some measure. He didn't fear returning to sleep, he simply wasn't tired just cold. _Always cold_. He floated up out of the bed his feet barely touching the floor of the fortress before marched off to put on his uniform, not that that would block out the cold, nothing ever did.

He moved into the main entrance of the fortress to see one of his crystals blinking orange. _A message? Couldn't anyone do anything with out calling him for help?_ He gently tapped the crystal and the face of Kyle, one of the new Green Lanterns, popped up before him. _Great, the Justice League Earth bound division._

"Superman, we have a situation down here, I found something... unusual during my patrol. I thought you might want to deal with it yourself. So could you head down to the Metropolis station as soon as you're able?"

The kid sounded terrified to be speaking to him, it didn't bother him. _Something unusual? A piece of Brainiac?_ Superman couldn't think of anything else that would make them think he would want to take care of it himself and that wouldn't set off a more grand scale alert. He would go. If this was something that petty he would have to make sure they knew not to bother him for trivial matters. One way or another it wouldn't be entirely pointless.

Superman's flight to the Metropolis station was a quick one. He disliked visiting the area and knew it far too well to care for sight seeing. The Metropolis station was just like every other Justice League outpost. Buying in bulk was easier to hide so every station was made from the exact same stuff. It's gray and white alloy walls and doors were only occasionally spotted with uniqueness from battle marks and a few odd personal touches some of the members had left from their early days; once you were part of the League for awhile you knew it wasn't like decorating your desk at work. He opened to door to the conference room, which hastily slid up. Green Lantern was talking with the Flash, Superman had long ago stopped trying to keep track of which one, and Matrix. Everyone stopped talking the second he entered the room, and he hadn't cared enough to listen to their conversation. It was time to get to the bottom of this.

"What ever you called me for had better be important." he stated.

"I wouldn't have called you if..." Kyle said with a shaken voice. Superman didn't feel like listening to ramblings of a nervous kid. So he got to the point.

"If it's another piece of Brainiac I already told you what to do with those things."

The Flash streaked up to Green Lantern's side, "No, nothing like that," He spoke almost as fast as he had run "At least we don't think it's anything like that-I said she could be a robot but no body else thinks so-she's kinda hot a little weird and wearing bunny slippers. Oh! she could be an evil alien shape shifter-" Flash's eyes darted to Matrix, "Er no offense there-" she simply shrugged. Then Flash turned back to Superman, "But to get to the point when we heard what she called herself we knew you were the only one who would know what to do."

_Some girl? What did this have to do with him?_ He would find out. He looked to Kyle. "What did she call herself." he demanded, this game would end now.

"Er well..." Kyle said before gulping nervously. Superman stared down at the youth, "She ah called herself Lois Lane," he finally blurted out. 

Superman felt his heart contract, an icy anger crept though his being, this was the last thing he had been expecting. His mind raced _Who would dare? What kind of sick game was someone playing with him? When I find out they'll wish they had never been born..._

"Show me." Were the only words able to escape his lips. Green Lantern pointed to the far left door of the conference room. He needed no more instructions and marched over to the door swiftly entering his access code and watched the door slide open. When he saw her his anger increased ten fold. For a moment he almost believed it. Who ever had done this certainly had done their homework.

It stood before him wearing a face of shock, flannel pajamas and bunny slippers. Its stance and face changed to what he had come to recognize as Lois' 'I'm worried but I'm not going to let you know that' look. He wanted to punch her look off its face. _She wouldn't want that, it probably has no idea what it is._ He repeated that thought in his head to keep calm. He quickly x-rayed it. _100 biological. A clone?_

He would find out and he would make whoever was responsible pay. _Sick twisted bastards_. He looked at its face. Exactly as hers had been so long ago. Its eyes were filled with confusion. What happened next he wasn't prepared for. It met his gaze, raised a delicate brow, and wrinkled its nose. "Smallville?" she questioned. 


	3. Broken

**Chapter Two – Broken**

_Smallville? Smallville? It can't be..._

Superman was pulled out of his thoughts when Flash suddenly spoke up.

"Smallville? Lady that's Superman- You must be really crazy to think you're Lois Lane and not recognize Superman- Sorry we bugged you with this man it's obvious now she's just a loon we'll-"

"Get out." He whispered, never taking his eyes off of her. When the Flash just stood there slack jawed Superman turned to face the three superheros. "I said get out, all of you get out. Now!" His throat felt tight as he almost yield almost pleaded for them to leave. Flash's eyes widened and then he was gone in a blur. Kyle and Matrix were also able to take a hint and ran out the main door. Once they were gone he turned back to the ... he didn't know what to think of her as. She stared up at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Superman?" She balked, "What the hell is going on here Smallville? What is this place? Who were they? and how do you know them? ..."

He didn't speak, he couldn't. Every movement, every expression, every word they were all Lois'. He had committed each one to memory. It was too sick for words. A mockery of Lois...

"... and what is up with the outfit? I know I told you to cut out the plaid but don't you think this is going a little too far? Are you even listening to me?"

He couldn't bare it any longer, he reached out and grabbed her by her shoulders "Shut up!" he screamed, "Just shut up. Stop playing this game." Her eyes got wide and a look of fear jumped into them. He remembered every time he had seen that look on Lois' face, they were never good times, she tried to hide it in the exact same way. He felt a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. "You're not her. You're not! Tell me what's going on!" He was snarling. He felt himself shaking her without intending to. "Tell me! Tell me the truth you little bitch!" That's when she kicked him, hard. She hissed in pain and he dropped her. She collapsed to the floor and grabbed her shin.

"What the hell is wrong with you Clark!" She screamed. Her face was contorted in fear, anger, and pain. He had hurt her. His throat tightened.

_How could I lose so much control? How could I hurt her? No, not her, not Lois._ He kept repeating to himself that she wasn't real but the burning knot in his stomach wouldn't release. He looked her in the eyes. _Solve it. Get to the bottom of this and get over it._He told himself. Leaning over he x-rayed her leg. _Only superficial damage_, _good. One less sin._ He helped her up gently offering her his hand. At first he was sure she was going to refuse but then she meet his gaze and grabbed his hand reluctantly. By her face he could tell she was shocked when he picked her up in his arms and carried her into the conference room where he set her down in a chair. He didn't sit down.

"What's the last thing you remember?" He thought it was a productive choice.

"You mean before you went all psychopath on me?" She glowered at him. He just looked at her, the cold had returned and he welcomed it. When it seemed that she was unwilling to continue until he acknowledged her question he nodded. "Glowing green guy swooped me out of the air, called me Miss so I introduced myself , then he started acting weird and flew me back here against my will!"

"His name is Green Lantern, and I'm interested in what happened before that." It wasn't as if he cared what she called Kyle, but the way she was doing it... he wouldn't think about that.

"Since your the one acting crazy shouldn't I get to ask the questions?" Her eyes had a small twinkle of mischief in them for a moment before it snuffed out. If she was Lois he would say she just remembered how mad she is at him.

_She isn't Lois. _He reminded himself.

When he failed to answer her she shrugged in annoyed defeat, "It was night. I brushed my teeth, put on my Pajamas, told Chlo to get off the computer and go to bed, pulled back the covers and jumped in bed, just like any other night. Any of this helping you? 'cause it sure isn't helping me understand what happened to you."

This was too much for him. It was too Lois. Every detail. Everything she said, not just the words but the way she said them. The passion, the sarcasm, the twinkle, thinking that he was the one out of place all perfect, all Lois. He stared into her eyes needing to see the flaw, the proof that this wasn't his Lois. That what ever was going on didn't change anything. Proof that this sick joke would end.

Her eyes softened. Her righteous furry ebbed away, being replaced by fear. Fear for him. Her eyes filled with worry.

"Clark?" ..._promise me... _He stumbled away from her. _No, no! It's not real!_ She had gotten up and was approaching him reaching her arm out to help. _No! _His guts twisted. His eyes burned. His throat was a knot. He couldn't speak. He couldn't think. He couldn't breath.

He grabbed the nearest chair and throw it with the limited strength he could muster. The chair flew into the wall and implanted itself half way through the dense metal. Lois didn't seem to notice the chair or his feat of strength. He couldn't look her in the eye, so he kept his back to her. He felt ashamed, he wasn't certain if it was shame for believing, failing to believe, or...

She slipped up behind him cautiously placing her hands on his back. When he didn't pull away she moved closer leaning against him ever so slightly, as close to a hug as she could get. Her hands were soothing, the left gently stroking his right shoulder blade. How many times had he stood with Lois just like this? even he had failed to keep track. Dozens maybe hundreds of nights when things had gone wrong. When he had failed. They had stood together, he would stare out the window of their apartment and she would whisper to him, calling him back to himself. Standing here like this, with her, it felt right, and that was what was so wrong about it.

"Clark? what's wrong? You're scaring me..." Before she could say any more he spun around to face her. Her eyes were full of shock and concern. He couldn't take any more, so he kissed her.


	4. Distance

**Chapter three - ** **Distance**

_He couldn't take any more, so he kissed her._

It was by no means gentle. His lips slammed against hers. His eyes closed forcefully tears threating to well up in them. Clinging to her fiercely, he was unwilling or unable to let her pull away. His lips tangled with hers and when her lips gave way it was from surprise not passion. He didn't care. She felt like, smelled like, and oh she tasted like Lois. She tried to pull away, what small part of him recognized this could not stop the flood gate. Years of frustration, anger, loneliness, and pain, _Oh God the __pain_, were pouring out of him into the kiss, tainting it. It was stabbing pain swimming in bliss. He could feel her here, he could be forgiven, he could almost forget that it wasn't real.

She was finally able to worm her hands between them and push away at his chest. The tide pasted, the spell broke and he let her go. The cold that covered him was painful and biting. He felt his emptiness.

When he looked down at her finally. Her face was flushed, her lips slightly swollen, her eyes an unreadable swirl of chaotic emotions. Would she hit him? Hug him? Yell at him? Dig for answers? Run away from him?

Before these questions could be answered a small noise alerted him to the now ajar door with 8 or so members of the Justice League crammed up in it staring at them with wide eyes and slack jaws. _Of course, the chair. She may have failed to notice it but it was foolish to think that everyone else would._ Though in truth he hadn't thought of it at all.

She looked up at his face then followed his gaze, flushing even brighter at their audience.

"What?" She yelled, crossing her arms over her chest. "You people have nothing better to do then stare at me all day? Go!" Her arms left her chest as she pointed to them with her right and her left came to her hip, "Get lives!"

They all continued to stare. Some had flinched, some blinked, others' eyes grew wider. There would be no privacy here. Not after what they had witnessed. Even if he scared them out of the room, they would be back. Maybe invisible, maybe as a new chair, but no matter how they would come back.

He grabbed a hold of... _she's not Lois..._ her outstretched arm and walked her to the door. She stumbled along behind him, obviously still a little dazed.

When they reached their audience, headed by the Flash, _typical_, a stair and the word "move" was enough for them to part out of his way.

His grip on her arm tightened as he dragged her through the whispering crowed. He could have heard ever word they said, but he didn't need to listen to know. They had caught cold emotionless Superman kissing some girl who claimed to be Lois Lane. The Lois Lane who rumor still persisted was the great love of Superman's life before he lost her to Clark Kent. He found that funny once, s_o had Lois_. He vividly remembered one evening so long ago when she had looked up at him with such sincerity and asked '_Smallville, did I break your heart when I married you_?' The memory stung.

His thoughts went silent as they emerged from the outpost, onto the streets of Metropolis. He looked back to the girl, _who is not Lois,_ when he realized she had stop struggling against him and talking. She been trying to get out of his iron grip and complaining the whole way up till now. Her eyes were wide as saucers as she looked out into the Metropolis skyline. The Daily Planet globe was somewhat visible from here but overshadowed by several larger skyscrapers.

If she were to be believed then she was from when Lois had briefly shared the apartment above the talon with Chloe then this was a far cry from her Metropolis or any other city she may have seen. That would fit with how old she looked and her identification of him. That was before the glasses, before the cape, before any of the acts, before he had realized he loved her... _But I don't believe her, so that doesn't matter._ The thought wasn't as reassuring as it had once been.

He was so lost in his thoughts he had not stopped to think about where they were going. He had even failed to note the fact that he was walking down the busy streets in his Superman uniform dragging a girl in pajamas behind him. Flickers and flashes of light surrounded them as anyone who had anything that could take pictures or video was doing so.

She came back to herself and started pulling on his arm trying to break free.

"Slow down!" she hissed, "and let me go, I don't appreciate being dragged around." He felt the arm he was hold twist slight. "Hey! I almost lost a slipper back there Clark..."

At the name Clark he almost panicked, he was Superman out in public being called Clark... Then reality sunk back in. She wasn't Lois and this wasn't the past. _Old habits._ Even if these people did believe her, even if they did get Clark Kent out of it, he had nothing left to hide He could tell ever major news network in existence that Clark Kent was Superman and it wouldn't change anything for him. When had buried Clark Kent, shortly after he was forced to bury his wife, the list of people he actually knew in attendance was minimal. Those that were there then are gone now. He had no friends or family left to protect.

Another bright flash brought him out of the past. She was still talking.

"Clark slow down! Where are we even going?"

_Good question. _Where could he take her? The Fortress was out of the question, the damage that she could do there was far too great. Any Justice league base would be filled with questions he didn't want to answer. No he had to think of somewhere else they could go. Somewhere without a thousand prying eyes, or dangerous technology and information.

He looked around and it hit him like a punch to the gut. He had been taking her somewhere specific this entire time. The road they were on was etched into his mind, he had walk this street so many times. Much had changed but he still knew it. The idea made the knots return to his stomach, but it was an inescapable fact.

He was taking her home.


	5. Home

**Chapter 4 – Home**

_He was taking her home._

The silence that surrounded them as they rode up the old elevator wasn't awkward. It was painful. The kind of silence that cut deep into you and made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. He was on a 30 floor long elevator ride with a girl, a woman, who was too like Lois Lane, and she wasn't pleased. Though she faced forward she was staring at him out of the corner of her eye. He was trying not to look back at her. It wasn't going too well.

_Why did we have to have a penthouse?_ He thought bitterly. Of course he knew it was because taking off from the penthouse balcony was far less suspicious and noticeable then flying out of the second floor window, but the logic of the time wasn't helping with the problem now. The situation was out of hand. He didn't want to take her there. He tried to stop himself but there was no turning back. Some deep seated part of him needed to take her there and the rest of him failed to think of someplace better, or any place at all.

When the elevator reached the 8th floor the silence was broken.

"Why did you kiss me?" She said it calmly though her face read annoyed.

"Of all the things to ask.." He muttered. She must have had super hearing as well, because she interrupted him right there.

"I asked you everything else already and you ignored me. I thought I would try a different question to see if it met your standards."

She was mad, and he recognized just what type of mad it was. It wasn't the dented cast-iron, cussing and death threats mad, this was the him sleeping on the couch for a week with conversation only on what was required for work mad. The first was much easier to deal with and ... _Stop, she isn't Lois._

"Well?"

"I don't know..." It was the truth but that didn't seem to please her.

"That wasn't an I don't know kiss, Clark. I don't know kisses are closed mouth and quick. That was angry lip sex."

_What can I possibly say to that_? Nothing came, so he returned his gaze to the slowly increasing numbers on the top of the elevator. Lois, _She's not Lois!_ SHE was not one to give up so easily however.

"You show up, start yelling at me like a crazy person, the next minute you're cold as ice, then you act like I just told you I ran over Shelby, and then you grab me and try to inhale my stomach so I think you owe me an explanation!"

How could he explain any of this to her, '_You are not Lois, Lois is dead, you are some creation sent here to torment me, and for no sane reason I'm taking you back to apartment I shared with her?'_ That would go over well. He looked over at her. She wasn't even pretending to follow elevator etiquette any more and was turned glaring straight at him with her arms across her chest. He looked away before he spoke.

"We're almost there, I'll try to explain then." It was the best he could do, but he doubted she saw it that way.

He spent the rest of the ride avoiding her gaze and thinking of what he would say. Too long became too short as the elevator reached the top floor and he still had reached no great insight on how to make her understand.

When the doors opened he stepped out. She just stood there glaring. He calmly stepped back in took her arm and led her out. She didn't fight him but he didn't have her cooperation either. The apartment was at the end of the hall number 3005. Superman and Lois walked together in silence.

When they reached the door his hand gently touched the old wood. His eyes closed as a swell of memories flowed through him. Days, nights, kisses, fights, long talks, pillows, slow dancing. His grip on her arm tightened instinctively as single word escaped his lips barely a whisper almost a prayer, "...Lois..."

_'I need you to promise me Clark...'_

"Where are we?" she finally spoke waking him from his trance.

"This is... was her-your apartment..." he couldn't make the words come out right. He watched as one of her eyebrows raised.

"What do you mean my-" he cut her off by opening the door. He didn't have the key, but that wasn't really an issue. He could replace the handle later.

The apartment was dark, it's midnight blue curtains remained drawn blocking out the light from the large windows, so he reached out and flipped the light switch on the wall. His hand knew what it was doing before he did. The bulb in the overhead lamp was slow to illuminate, but he supposed he should be thankful it worked at all given how old it was. Other then the layer of dust and cobwebs the apartment was exactly as he had left it 37 years ago. Bits of the coffee table were scattered about the hard wood floor and the blue and purple oriental rug. Brightly colored glass sparkled in the dim light, some bits embedded in the walls others scattered about the floor all from the Tiffany lamps and vase. There was a perfect fist sized hole with trailing cracks in the wall between the main room and their bedroom that left a splash of plaster in both rooms.

The rest of the furniture was untouched, save a few turned over chairs, still standing in the place Lois had decreed the last time she felt like re-decorating, he had little say in the design, Lois didn't buy into his 'farmhouse chic.' The plush burgundy couch, was positioned on the left wall after then entrance into the kitchen area facing what had once been a modest entertainment center. The couch looked pinkish from all the dust and was still covered in Lois' beloved throw pillows, though most now resided on the floor. Most of the pictures had been taken down from the walls and a few personal trinkets were missing but almost all of the finishing touches, bits of art, a wall mirror, a crystal candy dish, pots for now long dead house plants and other assorted nick-knacks and decorations, remained in place. A shrine to their life together. The tomb for his heart.

It had been three weeks before he snapped. Three weeks of walking around like nothing happened, going through the motions of his life as if his heart was still there. Then came the rage, then the tears, and finally the cold.

She stood at the threshold of the apartment looking in. She looked curious at first, then after a moment it melted away to concern. She looked at him. Their eyes met for a moment before she quickly flicked them back to the apartment.

He openly watched her as she examined the evidence before her. His mind couldn't stop itself from thinking how breathtaking she looked. Of course to him Lois, _she only looks like Lois,_ was always beautiful. The fact that he found this girl who looks like Lois to be beautiful standing looking confused in her pajamas and... _wait..._ He looked down at her bunny slippers and then to the glass on the floor. _This wont do..._

"I'll get you a pair of shoes," he stated and walked out of the room before she could say anything. He opened the door to his bedroom and walked in. It smelled like death, though he knew no one else would be able to smell it. He tried not to look at anything, _just go to the closet get the shoes get out_, easier thought then done... His eyes were drawn to the bed. The curtains were slightly open allowing sunlight to filter in onto the soft blue cotton sheets pulled tight across it. He had made the bed in the morning on the day he left. As he stared an image crawled up into his sight: Lois lying in their bed, curled sightly to her right, her eyes closed, her long gray hair an unbrushed tangled mess, a slight frown nit on her face. He felt his stomach flip and his throat tighten. He turned away quickly but the image remained burned into his mind. _...closet... shoes..._ He sped over to the closet opened it up and grabbed the first pair of Lois' shoes he could find.

When he exited the bedroom the smell subsided and he was able to look at the shoes he had chosen. A pair of emerald green pointed toed high heels. The look on the young woman's face at his reemergence showed her opinion of his 'choice.' He didn't care, he wouldn't go back to get another pair, she would make due with what she got. He tossed the shoes to her.

"High heels?" she questioned.

"They were what I found. Deal with it," He replied coldly. He didn't need this.

"Since this was _my_ apartment, I would think I would have some comfortable shoes..." She muttered but she slipped off the slippers and put on the heels. She moved slowly about the apartment, looking at everything, like she was trying to determine if anything was indeed hers. _It's not. _His mind hissed, _It's Lois', not yours..._

He turned away from her. He didn't want to watch, didn't want to see Lois when he looked at her. To his surprise he found himself saying:

"Why don't you go take a shower and get changed," it wasn't a question, and it wasn't a suggestion, it was a command, "There are clothes in this room," he gestured to the bedroom door, "and a bathroom just beyond with towels in it."

"What?" She demanded. He turned to face her. Her borrows where lifted, eyes confused and blinking, though little sparks of annoyance danced in them. He didn't know if she was confused because she hadn't heard him or because she had.

"Go take a shower and get dressed," He restated. When that failed to get her moving and the anger in her eyes increased, presumably for being ordered around he added, "you're still wearing pajamas, you hate the shoes I brought out, and we both could use some time to think." He was unsure where the sudden confidence he felt came from, but his need for alone time with his thoughts out weighed his disgust at the idea of someone else wearing Lois' cloths. She looked down at her feet.

"Fine." She stated, still obviously angry, and marched over to the bedroom door. "but when I get out, you and I are going to have a talk mister!" with that threat she opened the door to the bedroom, he looked away quickly.

Alone with his thoughts once more he fell into familiar habits. He pulled the back curtains aside, dust swirled around and the sunlight filtered in. With the curtains out of the way the view of the terrace and city scape beyond was revealed. He tipped one of the chairs upright and had a seat staring out the windows. Sunlight gently warming him. Though the view had changed along with the city over the years staring out into it still felt familiar enough that he was able to forget for a few moments.

He was lost in thoughts of nothing when the view suddenly changed. Red shoes filled his vision. Long red boots slowly floated down revealing the rest of their owner: long legs; Golden Lasso at the hip; star spangled blue bottoms... _could this day get any worse?_


	6. Lost

**Chapter 5 – Lost**

_Could this day get any worse?_

"Kal-El," Princess Diana began.

He looked up at her face. Diana looked the same as always. Looked the same as the day he met her, though her eyes showed her emotions differently now. A hardness had replaced the wondering innocence. Despite this the concern in her eyes was easy to read. _So she knows._

"Diana," He replied coldly. "Now this is the part where you ask what is going on when you obviously already know. Then you'll ask if it's really her. Then if I'm alright. Then if there is anything you can do to help. So how about I save us an hour of uncomfortable conversation that neither of us wants: I don't know; no; and get the hell out."

Diana's face tightened into an all too familiar scowl, Bruce's. "Still haven't grown up I see. This could be very serious Kal-El and you cannot get past your petty personal issues."

He stood up staring straight into her eyes, narrowing his own and tightening his jaw. Her superior demeanor filled him with a cold rage; he wouldn't be talked down to like a child.

"What I do is none of _your_ business!" He snarled.

"You're out of control and _that_ is my business." She took a deep breath visibly calming. "Kal-El," She said calmly, "everyone is worried about you. This wouldn't be the first time someone has tried to use Lois against you, we need to-"

"I'm handling it!" He screamed, "I don't need you around!" He turned his head away. He hated looking at her.

"I know this is hard for you; However, I am not the enemy here." Diana reached out to touch his shoulder but he pushed her hand away, and returned his gaze to her face. She wouldn't touch him again, he'd make sure of it. "I have never been your enemy Kal-El. I'm here to help." He hated how calm she was. Diana wore a mask of grace, it made him sick, for he knew what lay underneath. Acid laced memories of a time when he called her a friend drifted through his mind. _Those days are gone_. He didn't want her pity, her friendship, her false air of nobility.

"I don't need your help." The words were bitter in his mouth.

"You said it yourself, you don't know if she is really Lois or not, perhaps I might help."

"How could _you_ possibly help?" He hoped the words stung but Diana showed no signs of feeling his intent. Only a raised eyebrow.

"I knew her, perhaps-"

"You didn't know her!"

"Perhaps not as well as you Kal-El, but I knew her. Your closeness to this issue is obviously clouding your judgment. It is understandable: I cannot..." Diana looked pained for the first time, _good,_ before the graceful mask fell back into place, "However, I was her friend-"

"You were never Lois' friend. A friend would never do what you did."

"Don't you dare! By Hera I've had enough of this Kal-El. Your wife was a dear friend and a true sister to me, you and I have made mistakes but that has nothing to do with the relationship I had with Lois."

"How can you say that!? How can you act like you're innocent!" His voice was filled with venom as he released the icy cold of his wrath upon her. "A real friend would never do what you did! If you cared at all about her you never would have... we- it never would have happened! You talk about how much you care about Lois and how meaningful your relationship is, but you don't give a damn! Just like with Bruce! Out of sight out of mind! Right? Did you ever even love him or was it some experiment into the ways of 'Man's World'? Well I won't play your little games! I've seen who you are and I wont let you in again. Never again Diana! Never again will I let you touch me."

Her eyebrow raised delicately and sadness filled her gaze.

"Still haven't forgiven yourself I see," Diana's voice was gentle and sympathetic. Her pity felt like a slap in the face. Her calmness like a sliver of kryptonite beneath his skin, making him weak and sick.

"Get out," He said coldly. "Just get out of my sight."

"No," Diana's voice lost its sympathy and gained that noble air. "Kal-El, I'm not leaving. You could be in terrible danger; this wouldn't be the first time Lois has been used against you. We have to know who she is or why she is here. Too many uncertainties surround her and that is a dangerous thing. I don't care what you want; I'm going to protect you for the sake of all the people of this world who still need you whether you choose to believe they do or not. So I will not let you use old wounds as an excuse to get rid of me. No matter how childish you choose to act I'm still going to help you."

The look in her eyes made it clear just how serious she was. Though they stood at the same height Diana was doing an amazing job of looming over him. Her face drawn into a trademark scowl, though it was not her trademark. Even the speech made him think of Bruce. Of course Bruce would have called him 'Kent' and possibly thrown in a piece of actual kryptonite if he thought Superman was getting out of control. He didn't like thinking about Bruce. Diana always brought with her things he didn't want to think about. He remembered how they had been together Wonder Woman and Batman... _Diana had watched him... just like I..._ He hated it when she was around. Now he had to put up with her presence, a reminder of how weak he was, because she wasn't leaving without a fight, and he had none left in him.

He turned away from her. He would accept her presence here, but he didn't have to look at her, or talk to her they would wait for... the woman in the back room to finish her- _wait_- he listened.

Nothing.

No shower, no rummaging through the bed room, no breathing but his and Diana's. He looked. The door to the bedroom was slightly ajar placed back near shut, but not quite all the way there, and the front door was still broken and open ever so slightly.

Diana looked over his shoulder and then stepped around him. Seeming to note his look of distress she took long strides over to the bedroom door and opened it. He noted all his mistakes, counting each and every one off in his head. _How stupid can you be_. When Diana turned back around he was the first to speak.

"Please tell me she didn't listen in on our conversation then high tail it out of here while we were too busy fighting to notice..."

"Looks like it."

"Fuck."


	7. Searching

**Chapter 6 – Searching**

"_Please tell me she didn't listen in on our conversation then high tail it out of here while we were too busy fighting to notice..."_

"_Looks like it."_

"_Fuck."_

Superman marched into the dark, mostly empty bar with sneer frozen to his face. Any patrons sober enough to notice his entrance were too shocked to speak up. He hated the smell of bars, and this seedy dump was particularly rank. _Of all the places to go... _

She sat at the bar with a shot of tequila raised slightly in a half toast; her hair still an unwashed, unbrushed mess; wearing one of his old button up shirts, her pajama bottoms and Lois' running shoes. Superman and Diana had spent the last hour searching the city for her and here she was, just fine save the half a dozen or so shots she had downed; he could clearly see six shot glasses turned over next to her.

"Bottoms up," She muttered to the middle aged bartender, who seemed to be having trouble keeping his eyes on her face, and leaned back to down the shot. Superman's hand covered over the glass before it got half way up.

"I thought you quit drinking." The words were out of his mouth before he realized their implications and before he had time to consider them, she spoke without looking at him.

"That was before I found out that, let's see... I'm dead, was married to _you_, and oh yeah..." she rolled her head up till her hazy met his, "You were cheating on me with the Star-Spangled-Dominatrix!" Words rose in his throat, what they were he would never know because she continued. "So excuse me, _Cow El,_ if I make a little exception to my sobriety pledge."

For having downed at least six shots of tequila she was rather eloquent but..._ Wait, did she just call me cowl?_

"Cowl?" he must of blinked because she pounced on the opportunity to snatch her shot back. When her attempt to twist it out of his hand came to naught, she let out a huff blowing the bangs off of her face, and returned to glaring at him.

"That's what the Patriotic-Home-Wrecker called you," she stated flatly now looking at the glass in his hand. At first he wondered what she was talking about then he remembered his last question. Her face took on a nasty smirk, though she still avoided his gaze."Guess she knows you're a farm boy too huh?"

The bizarre nature of the conversation overcame him and reached up to rub his temples. He forgot of course that he was still holding her shot and the glass came tumbling to the ground and cracked apart on impact. She looked at him then.

"You're paying for that one," She then looked back at the dumb struck bartender who's jaw seemed to have become un-hinged. "That was his fault so he pays for it." She repeated.

_Now that I think about it... _"How are you paying at all?" He asked incredulously.

She smiled a little and said with too much pride in her voice: "I found my purse." She held up Lois' sleek black handbag like a trophy. Before he could even think to stop her, she turned the purse upside down and popped it open, dumping the contents out onto the sightly damp bar, even giving it a slight shack for affect. A coin purse, a box of breath mints, a pill bottle, a tube of lipstick, a ten dollar bill, a few papers and Lois' wallet came spilling forth. He snapped to attention, chasing after the lipstick, that had rolled off the table. He could not lose these things, these tiny bits of Lois. Anger sparked in him. _How dare she ruin them!_ He stood up to tell her just that, to put her back in her place as a Lois fake, when she spoke again.

"Wow I really did make it didn't I?" She held Lois' drivers license in her hands staring at picture. "Gray hair, wrinkles and everything... you know its going to happen but... I never... never really thought about it." Her voice was shaky, her face... he didn't know what it meant. Tequila hazed her eyes making them almost unreadable. His hand was half way to her face before he knew it. He wanted, almost needed, to comfort her. He pulled it back to his side and clenched his fist. Her head tilted as she slipped her fingers into the wallet sliding out a photo. "Me getting chummy with some old guy in glasses..."

The picture she held was of him and Lois, taken maybe 5 years before she died. His memory of that day was filled with sunshine and smiles; they had gone to Centennial park, walked around, held hands, eaten ice cream; just like a normal elderly couple... only they weren't. The lines, the salt and paper hair, the way he hunched himself, was all an illusion to show the world that he was aging. Lois hated the prosthetics. He had to take them off when they were alone together, sometimes he wanted to pretend that he was normal but Lois would never have it. 'I don't like the feel of plastic,' Lois would say, 'besides I've earned my kicks!'

She looked up at him from the picture, "How? Why? I don't understand. I'm supposed to be old, this license expires in 2076 and you're just..." She shook her head, as if it would wash away the haze around her mind and make his youthful appearance add up with the rest of the story she was getting. "What year is this?" She was pleading with him now. Pleading for him to make sense of the incomprehensible, to explain it all to her, but he lacked the answers she sought so he answered just her question.

"Twenty-one eleven, it's the year twenty-one eleven." He spoke evenly, calmly, hoping this would appease her but knowing that it couldn't. Her eyes were wide and slightly hazy as she let the information soak into her mind. Silence fell on them as she stared into his face searching. Was she looking for deception? A way to believe it was a dream? Comfort? he didn't know.

Finally she spoke. Her voice was wavering and unsure. "I need to see it. I need to know... know for sure. Clark I need you to take me there.. to my... to _the_ grave."


	8. Breath

**Chapter 7 Breath**

_Finally she spoke. Her voice was wavering and unsure. "I need to see it. I need to know... know for sure. Clark I need you to take me there.. to my... to the grave."_

He nodded, agreeing before he even thought of what he was agreeing to. She looked so vulnerable, he couldn't help himself. However, visiting Lois' grave?! The idea alone made his stomach turn sour. He hadn't been there since his own funeral, and even then he had only watched from a distance. _This is a stupid idea_. Would a trip to Lois' grave bring any understanding? It seemed unlikely. But... when he agreed for a moment, she looked better, like a weight had been removed. He would have to honor his word.

When he moved to help her up the sound of glass breaking beneath his feet brought the more material problems back to him. They were still in a bar in the middle of Metropolis, with a tab building. The ten dollars that had been in Lois' purse would most likely not be enough to replace the glass and he had no money on him.

"How much to pay for the glass?" He asked simply.

The Bartender blinked a few times before getting out a, "What?"

"The glass I dropped," He repeated, "How much?"

"Oh don't worry about it," The man's face filled with a smile. "Superman can break a glass here any time he wants." The bartender chuckled, obviously still a little stunned.

Superman hated stuff like this: Offers of 'free' gifts; invites to elite parties; being allowed to destroy things without accountability. There wasn't much he could do here however; he couldn't insist on paying when he lacked the ability to, at least for now.

"Come on," He said looking down at ... the young woman. He helped her up though he discovered she really didn't need it. She walked next to him straight and tall without needing to lean on him, in fact she seemed insistent not to. She leaned a little now and then but overall kept her balance rather well as they left the dark foul smelling bar.

"Where's your car parked?" The young woman asked the second they exited the bar.

"I don't have a car." He admitted pointedly.

"Well then we'll hail a cab," She moved to do so but he stopped her, grabbing her right arm gently.

"Don't. I don't have any money and ten dollars will not get us out of the city."

"No money? Then how did you get here? Don't tell me you ran..." She rolled her eyes dramatically.

He wasn't enjoying this conversation, nor what seemed to be the only conclusion as to how they were going to get to Lois' grave. The knots in his stomach were forming once again...

"Let me guess, Miss Adultery dropped you off?"

The image of Wonder Woman trying to park the invisible plane on the curb to drop Superman off at a bar was so ludicrous that it took all his self control not to laugh. Not that he hadn't been making a mockery of himself all day, first dragging a lady in pajamas across the city then chasing after her. _What a complete mess_. He took a deep breath before finally answering her.

"No, Diana didn't drop me off here."

"Jeez, then what did you do Clark, fly?"

"Yes," He stated it like the fact it was.

"What?" She was now staring at him like he had two heads.

"I said I flew here."

It was hard to say. He supposed old habits made it hard, exposing his abilities. Talk with her brought him back, even in the suit he no longer felt like Superman... For Superman flying with this girl somewhere would be nothing. He did it all the time, rescued them and flew them where ever they needed to be. But the idea of flying with _her_. It was different, and he knew why. Here talking with her, he wasn't Superman... He felt like Clark Kent.

"Of all the times to gain a sense of humor..." She muttered. She turned fast on her heel to look him straight in the eye, she almost fell over in the process but thankfully she regained her balance before he needed to intervene. "Seriously Cow-el, Superman, Clark or whatever your calling yourself now, how did you get here?"

"I told you, L- ," He gulped down the word before he let it slip past his lips. _It's just a confusing day that's all_. "I told you, I flew."

"You mean like in a helicopter?"

"No," He didn't blame her for not catching on. It was down right impossible to believe, she didn't know Superman. This wasn't like the other times he had exposed his abilities. 'I'm Superman' had always sufficed as an explanation, not that he had given many. Memories of the time he had told Lois of his powers as Superman ran through his mind unbidden. She had been so excited to be the first person to interview the mysterious flying hero. He had wanted to tell her everything, but he chickened out and told her the meaningless things: that he was an alien, all about his powers, his mission, and his dream of peace. He didn't tell her then what mattered: that he was Clark Kent the man who loved her; that he wasn't sure how it had happened but when they had kissed long ago in Smallville all his feelings came into focus and he knew from that moment on that there was no other woman in the world for him; that he still hated himself for not seeing it sooner and for letting her go; that the time they had spent apart had been torture for him; that seeing her at The Planet everyday filled his world with light. He hadn't said any of that then.

He shook the memories from his thoughts. The past was gone. This young woman is here now and he would have to show her now. He felt stomach turn slightly. He was... nervous.

"Watch," He said to her, his voice a mask of calm he didn't feel. When she looked at him he found it hard to focus, so he closed his eyes to concentrate. He lifted slowly, choosing to hover only about a foot off the ground. He heard a thump then. Opening his eyes he saw she had fallen back onto her bottom and was staring slack jawed.

"Ow," she mumbled.

He landed and leaned down. After a quick once over to determine if she had hurt herself, which to his relief she had not, he reached out his hand offering to help her up.

"You flew." She stated dumbfounded.

"Yes I can fly."

She looked him up and down once then returned her gaze to his face, "You haven't aged a day in a hundred years _and _you can fly..." she grabbed his hand then and together they got her back onto her feet. She steaded herself, then patted down her pajama bottoms trying to get the dust off her backside. Finally she took one deep breath, let it out slowly and looked back to him.

"How?" It was a simple question. However the answers were far from simple.

"I'm an intergalactic traveler..." He mumbled.

"What?"

"I'm an alien." He stated a little bit louder.

"Since when?"

Now he was the one confused, "What do you mean 'since when?' I'm an alien from another planet, I always have been."

"Seriously?"

"Yes," he relayed looking her straight in the eyes. This was a lot harder then he thought it would be, and was bordering on absurdity. "I am from another planet, I came to Earth during the first meteor shower in Smallville."

It was then that her eyes lit up with recognition. "Cow-el!" she yelled excitedly her mouth spread into a wide grin, "I knew I had heard that before! Those two freaks at the hospital! They were looking for you!"

"_Kal_-el." he corrected her.

"Huh?"

"It's Kal-el not Cow-el, it's my birth name."

"Kal-el is your birth name." She appeared to roll the idea around in her head, "And the Kents..."

"Found me after the crash and adopted me."

"Farm boy Clark: an alien. Weird... I guess though, that the alien powers thing would make the hero complex make more sense... Finding out my friend is an alien makes the world make _more _sense." Her eyes widened, "Wow! This is completely nuts." She was almost giggling at that. Then her face seemed to sober, "Did I know about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did I know about you, about being an alien, being able to fly?"

"Yes, I told Lois everything..." _eventually_. He amended mentally. Why he was nervous about admitting his deceptions to this young woman was a subject he didn't want to dwell on.

She looked at him closely before sighing, "So then how are we going to do this?" She asked, the joy was gone from her voice.

"You mean get to the grave yard..." The thought was far from pleasant for him as well. Cold stones over cold ground, housing the cold shell of the woman who had been the light of his life. His hands started to shake and he clenched them into fists. _I'm Superman damn it! I can do this!_ he yelled at himself, but the knots tying in his gut wouldn't listen.

He returned his attention to her. He wanted to back out, but he was no liar and he wouldn't let fear make him one. He took one last deep steadying breath.

"Put your arms around my neck." He instructed. She just raised her brows. "I'm going to fly us there and this is the best way I know how so put your arms abound my neck."

She nodded then and stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms carefully around his neck while still maintaining seemingly as much distance as possible. He traced one arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She looked shocked, angry, confused and, he allowed himself to admit, a bit excited when she collided into his chest.

He felt his heart racing, his pulse pounding in his ears. He felt against his chest the racing beat of her heart, almost seeming to pound in time with his own. _It's not real, it's not real... _The mantra was not having its desired affect as his mouth dried up and he felt about ready to burst.

"Hold on," he barely whispered before stretching his other arm up and lifting them into the sky.


	9. Unearthed

**Chapter 8 Unearthed**

"_Hold on," he barely whispered before stretching his other arm up and lifting them into the sky._

Superman stood just outside the graveyard, where his heart lay, staring up at the gate arch. He had read the name spelled out in wrought iron eight times already, but he wanted to look at anything but their destination. The young woman beside him was... well he couldn't really tell. Nervous? Expectant? Panicked? Reeling? Drunk? Annoyed at him for not moving? He saw signs of all of them but there was more. Emotions in her eyes he was unsure of, and he forbade himself from thinking too much on.

The flight to the graveyard had been... complicated. Holding her had been elevating, wonderful, soothing, but at the same time he had felt much as a mortal must after drinking battery acid. The young woman in his arms had been just like Lois, who eventhe very last time they had flown together had treated it like the first, her eyes filled with innocent wonder He couldn't deny that this felt the same. Although the young woman had flown before, by her own admission, with Kyle this morning her eyes had held that same look. She had clung to him, holding her breath for the first few moments; yet she didn't close her eyes. She kept them open and watched his face most of the time. Part of him wanted it to be from fear of looking down, other parts... He tried not to listen to what they wanted.

The ease with which he now could forget that she wasn't Lois, how light his heart had felt having her in his arms, the fact that he was still listening to her heart beat, all added to the battery acid feel; though it was nothing compared to the sharp pain he felt now, looking at the wrought iron arch and reading the name for the ninth time. He couldn't be here... this was too much! _Go! Run! Fly away! Quick!_ repeated in his head but...

..._promise me..._

He had made a promise, in his mind at least, to this young woman and he was going to keep it. He knew he couldn't stand to see that look on her face.

The young woman swallowed and took a deep breath. He looked at her again, her eyes were filled with determination as she stared into the graveyard before her.

"So. We going to do this or what..." She turned to look at him and gulped oddly, "... Clark?"

She was nervous and fighting it hard. He would have to be strong as well. He took a step towards the last place in this world he wanted to be. Whoever said the hardest part is the first step had no idea what they were talking about. Each step was harder then the last. The craving, the pleading to run, increased exponentially as he closed in on his destination.

His up-hill journey ended when he reached a Yew tree that grew near Lois' grave. This was as close as he had come during his own funeral, he wouldn't, couldn't bring himself any closer now.

The young woman looked at him with confused eyes. "What..." she began but didn't finish.

"There." He pointed to the stone slab. A slab that, with his eyesight, he could read perfectly from where he stood but didn't need to. He could close his eyes and see it. Its smooth cut, gray imperfections, and haunting inscription:

Lois Joanne Lane-Kent

1985 - 2074

"Look to the Future"

Lois told him that once, 'Look to the future...' It had stuck with him and when the man asked what he wanted written on Lois' head stone, it was the first and only thing he could think of. At the time she had spoken those words, there had been much to look to... now the words rang as hollow as the future before him.

Inscribed on its right face was a smooth arch, that when placed with it's mate formed a delicate heart shape. Its mate stood not much more then a foot away from it. He hadn't actually paid much attention to his own head stone, in fact this was as close as he had ever come to it. The curved arch that formed half a heart was on its left side and it's inscription was easy for him to read:

Clark Jerome Kent

1987 - 2075

"Parting is all we know of heaven,  
And all we need of hell."

The Inscription was Bruce's idea. Aside from the half heart, everything about Clark Kent's burial had been Bruce's doing. Bruce had been the only one left who knew Superman's secret and could by any stretch be called a friend to Clark Kent; However, the arrangements had hardly been smooth going. He had spent a few days at Wayne manor trying to hammer out the arrangements with Bruce, but he had not been much help. In fact, on day two, Bruce had told him in no uncertain terms how annoyed he was at having to do all the work.

'Your head stone is going to read "Insufferable Moron' unless you give me some idea of what you want,' Bruce had said. He hadn't been lying when he told Bruce that he didn't care what it said, and 'Insufferable Moron' would do just fine. It was Diana who- but he didn't want to think about that. In the end Bruce had really done a remarkable job.

Bruce had even delivered his eulogy. Which had felt odd given that Bruce was one of the only people that knew his true status. However Bruce was nothing if not the worlds greatest actor, his speech had been a tear felt farewell to a friend... Or perhaps Bruce did understand the reality, that even if there was nothing to bury, Clark Kent had died with his wife...

The young woman had walked over to Lois' grave. She took in a hissing breath as she reached a shaky hand out to touch the smooth surface of the headstone. Her hand traced the path of the word Joanne. She fell slowly to her knees then, transfixed by the stone slab before her.

From his vantage point he could no longer see her expressions. Though he tried not to, he found himself wondering what she was thinking. What could one think staring at one's own death? _Even if it isn't really hers... _He was drawn out of his thoughts when a small whimpering sound reached his ears. Her shoulders were slumped, her body shaking slightly, and her breath was coming out in uneven, shaky, slight gasps. There was no denying it... she was crying.

His heart leaped a little in his chest. He knew he had to do something but before he could think of what, she spoke.

"You stupid bitch!" She screamed, "You died Lane-Kent! He cheated on you! He betrayed you! Were you so stupid you didn't see it!? So pathetic you couldn't do anything about it!?" She slammed her hands against the stone as if it could feel the pain.

_No... _His mind raced but no other thought could be found, he had never thought that _...No!_

She continued to slam her hands uselessly against the stone. "Did you think he still loved you while he was fucking another woman!? Did you think that you couldn't live without him!? You didn't need him! You're strong! You don't need anyone! How could you let yourself become so weak!? You..." She was cut off when a hand wrapped gently around hers and lifted her up. He had super-sped over to her before he had time to think.

"No..." He spoke gently, his left hand came up and gently stroked her tear-streaked and shocked face "You're wrong, Lois... it wasn't like that." His thumb slowly wiped away the tear that still hovered near her eye. "I never wanted anyone else when I had you. I could never..."

"But all those things you said to that woman!" She protested half heartedly. She was right, he had lead her to believe such things, he never corrected her... He tried to think he hadn't meant to, that he_ had_ tried to correct her before, but it rang false. He had let it happen because it made her hate him, and that made things easier, just like with Diana...

Diana... It had been just after Bruce's funeral. No one had been there offering their condolences to her. She wasn't his grieving widow, to the public she was just another girl in a long line of in home nurses the former playboy had hired due to her looks. She mourned alone. He wondered now if it was easier then listening to a long parade of false condolences as he had done. They had gone back to Wayne manor together. The place had always seemed empty to him, and without Bruce it seemed barely real. He and Diana had not talked, there was nothing to say. When he looked into her eyes, he saw a hopelessness there, a look he had seen in the mirror just after Lois died.

How it started, or more importantly who had started it was lost but hotly debated in his mind. All he could remember was the flooding pain sweeping through him and a willingness to do anything to relieve it. In an embrace and kiss they sought comfort. It hadn't been good enough; for either of them, he suspected. Tender touches became rough. Soft kisses became maddening lip-locks without concern for one another. In those moments his fury had been let lose: why was he the one left alone? Why did he lose everything he loved? He was angry -furious!- at the world for continuing as if his hadn't ended, at his parents for sending him to this world where he would be alone, at everyone, at Lois for leaving him... They had fought as much as touched. The sex was rough, violent, almost brutal, but each knew that the other could take it. During that time it had felt good, the way the violence and anger had flown out of him. Afterwards he had felt... shame and anger, but this time at himself. When the cold returned he had welcomed it... he deserved a life alone.

That had been the last time he had cried, so it was surprising to find that tears had begun to well up in his eyes.

"You left me..." he whispered to Lois, "You died and you left me here all alone." His right arm reached around her and he held her close. "I'm so sorry," He felt a tear roll down his cheek as he spoke, "I'm sorry I wasn't stronger. I'm sorry that I couldn't be more... Please forgive me, it was a mistake, I felt so alone... please, I need you."

Her arms slowly wrapped around him, as if he was some fragile glass statue she could break with her embrace. Her right hand came up and absently stroked the back of his head as she made little uncertain shushing sounds.

"It's alright," she spoke gently, "It's okay Clark... there's nothing to forgive."


	10. Awkward

**Chapter 9- Awkward**

"_It's alright," she spoke gently, "It's okay Clark... there's nothing to forgive."_

He held onto to Lois that way, crying in her arms for what felt simultaneously like mere seconds and eons. Her awkward shushing abated and she simply held him to her, stroking his back almost absently. He felt horrible, exposed, nervous, and absolutely wonderful. Lois was in his arms again, and she didn't hate him... He had laid his sins and his heart before her and she had accepted them and him without judgment.

"Lois," he sighed gently. She must have taken it as a sign that he was done crying, for she released her grip on him gently. He pulled his arms from around her slowly, feeling slightly emptier for it. She moved back slightly and he looked into her eyes. _She has such beautiful eyes..._

While Lois didn't exactly meet his gaze, she was looking at him. Calmly scanning his face, she seemed be searching for signs that he was going to fall apart. He was surprised when her delicate hand reached out and began gently wiping at the tear streaks that marred his face.

"Oh Smallville, look at you all blotchy," she chided with awkward humor in her voice. Then she tilted her head slightly, "You're smiling..." her voice trailed off in confusion.

He was too, smiling that is. He hadn't even realized it until she pointed it out. He had started smiling in response to her tease, it just seemed natural.

"I am," he said and he couldn't seem to stop smiling either.

"It's weird," she confessed, "It feels like I haven't seen you smile in a long time."

"I haven't had much to smile about," he replied honestly. However, as he gazed at her face, he found it completely impossible to stop smiling.

He breathed deep to inhale her scent as he allowed his eyes to drink her in. Her hair was a disaster; not only did it suffer from horrendous bed head, but the flight here had tangled it even farther. Her eyes were red rimed and slightly puffy from crying. The right sleeve of his shirt was rolled up past her elbow, however the left had fallen down and the cuff was rumpled up at her wrist. The knot she had made at the waist had come undone and the unbuttoned flaps were now hanging down in a mess of wrinkles. The left knee of her horseshoe pajama bottoms was covered in mud. The old running shoes looked about to crumble off her feet. She was breathtaking!

When he caught Lois' eye, once again he found himself unconsciously leaning into her. Her eyes widened and she took a step back almost faster then he could blink, that was indeed saying something. Lois looked... terrified.

"Well um... yeah," she tried. "What with the... everything. Must have been hard..."

Lois was amazingly shaken. _Of course she's shaken you idiot,_ he reprimanded himself,_ you just tried to kiss her!_ He hadn't been thinking. This Lois, she was only what? Twenty? Twenty-one? He wasn't her husband, he wasn't even her boyfriend. His heart sank a little.

_..Finding out my **friend** is an alien..._

A friend, that's all he was to her... not even best friend yet. The realization stung. How cruel fate was to be so close and yet... She remembered none of it. All his memories of their life and love and it was only an obscure idea in her mind. He didn't have his wife back. He most likely had Oliver's girlfriend. Bile rose within him at that thought. His heart hurt so badly he wanted to scream. How unfair it was to drag up all his emotions, to leave him vulnerable, alone, and unloved

A loud growl emanating from Lois' stomach pulled him from his self pity. How selfish he was being! Lois was standing there nervous, and obviously hungry, still throwing out sentence fragments in hopes one would get him talking and free her from the awkward moment. Instead of helping her, he allowed himself to be consumed by what was missing, ignoring all that was there.

_Lois is here. She is radiant. She is wonderful. She cares about me. She's here,_ his mind soothed.

He smiled to himself. So she wasn't in love with him... While that had meant more than anything else, just having her here was an exhilarating, heart lifting experience. He could hold her in his arms, grasp her hand in his, tell her his secrets and fears, be called Smallville again... All the little things that had been so special about them were right here. He loved her and he still felt his heart soar when she was near. That was all he needed, and far more then he deserved.

"You're babbling," he teased her gently. "Come on I'll fly you back home. We can get cleaned up, then I'll take you out to eat."

"Huh?" Lois said as she fell out of her rambling.

"Come on." He stretched out his arm to her. "I won't bite."

"I'm not too sure about that," Lois muttered while looking suspiciously at his offered arm.

"Come on Lois," He said with a smile. "Just give me your hand and we can go get some food."

Lois looked ready to protest but the loud growl that emanated from her stomach silenced her. With a sigh she quickly extended her hand to him.

When he wrapped his hand around her offered one he felt a warmth run through him. Her hand was warm, soft and familiar. They fit together so perfectly he observed as he gazed at their joined hands, absently stroking the back of her hand a few times.

A loud "AHEM!" from Lois snapped him out off his musings.

"Are we going or what?" she said sounding rather annoyed. She had even wrinkled up her nose for affect but her cheeks betrayed her, having taken on a rather pinkish hue.

"Oh, um yeah..." he said rather lamely as he stepped over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Lois continued to try to look annoyed while her cheeks became redder. He felt assaulted by sensations: The soft feel of her body pressed up against him; the sound of her heart beating; the smell of her hair. His mind struggled with his heart's wish to once again taste her lips.

_Calm down,_ he told himself, _take a deep breath and take off._ Though simple in principle, it was rather hard to do with his heart still warring within him over the lack of kissing. He forced his eyes closed and willed them into the air.

Looking down he saw the cemetery get smaller and smaller as he flew back home with Lois in his arms and the sound of his heart beat ringing in his ears.


	11. Hungry

**Chapter 10 – Hungry**

_Looking down, he saw the cemetery get smaller and smaller as he flew back home with Lois in his arms and the sound of his heart beat ringing in his ears. _

Clark sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the wooden door to his bathroom. His wife was on the other side of that door, taking a shower. Well, not exactly his wife but... Lois was in the shower and it was taking every ounce of strength he had not to join her.

The flight back to their apartment had been quick; it took him about 5 minutes. He could have flown faster, but it would have been very uncomfortable for her. Lois had tried very hard not to look amazed but whenever he caught her eyes he saw that sparkle... she couldn't hide her joy. However, when they landed on the balcony the sparkle went away, she immediately extracted herself from his arms and ran into the bedroom with the excuse of being 'Way too hungry for chit chat.' Lois had whirl winded her way through the bedroom picking out clothes, leaving only a trail of open drawers and scattered socks in her wake, then made a mad dash into the bathroom locking the door firmly behind her.

He wasn't one-hundred percent sure about what clothing Lois had grabbed, for she hadn't exactly slowed to show them to him. He had caught a glimpse of a pair of black dress pants and one of his white button down shirts, not to mention the other... necessities, which was yet another thing he was trying very hard not to think too much about. Lois always seemed to enjoy stealing his shirts, particularly his 'horrendous' plaid. It brought a smile to his face once again, remembering that Lois spent so much time wearing what she claimed so loudly to hate. Lois' choice in clothing was also something to smile about. She felt comfortable enough to wear his things; that had to be a good sign...

So now Lois was in the shower. The hot water rolling across her smooth, lightly tanned skin... Her neck, gracefully arching as she brushes the water over her long hair.. Her ab muscles contracting under his gentle ministrations as his hands make a trail of soft caresses up to her smooth pert breas-_ Oh dear God!_ He desperately tried to clamp down on his errant thoughts; his imagination was running away with him.

His hands roughly grabbed on to the edge of the bed, as he tried to ground himself to reality. A loud snapping sound as the seams of the mattress began breaking apart was his only reward. The image of a lightly sudsy, naked Lois dancing around in the shower refused to leave his mind.

Along with shirt stealing, showers had always held a strange place in his relationship with Lois. He remembered the times in Smallville when she wanted something in the bathroom and she would just walk right in. That had certainly thrown him at the time, in fact it drove him down right crazy but... Years later when they were partners at the Planet, she stopped walking in on him. At first he had thought it had something to do with their strained working relationship. The times he spent at her apartment or vice versa were always between assignments when clean up was necessary. However, even when he had become 'The best friend a girl could ever ask for,' she still waited outside the door when she wanted something from inside or needed to talk. It wasn't until a month after he had finally convinced her to give him a shot that she walked in on him again. She needed her hairbrush and was 'unwilling to wait'. It was in that moment that he knew for sure he had been right about them becoming a couple. The missing piece of their relationship fell into place: Lois had become completely comfortable around him again. The first time they had made- _Stop! _the rational part of his mind screamed and the mattress made a strange _pang_ sound in protest. He had warped the frame to the point that a spring had just snapped.

_Well, another bed ruined_. The last time he had manged to break one, Lois had been... He needed a cold shower, badly. Of course, that thought only brought more memories of just what was in the shower: What he could hear, if he stopped focusing; see, if he let up for one moment; and touch, if he just gave the crystal doorknob a strong turn...

He needed to do something! Anything! to keep his mind off of the delightfully naked Lois in the other room. _...Naked... Clothes!_ Now that was a good idea. He had been running around in his Superman outfit all day and it had certainly attracted far too much attention for his liking. Taking Lois out to... Lunch?... as Superman would undoubtedly be more than awkward for everyone involved. Plus, taking her to a restaurant would be as good as an endorsement... civilian clothes were certainly the better choice.

He relaxed his death grip on the mattress- the metal frame groaned, attempting to shift back into place. _It's lucky_ he thought absently _that I'm no longer the teenager that Lois had first met. If I was, the apartment would be on fire by now_. And with that optimistic thought, he walked over to the closet. It had been nearly 20 years since he had last worn normal clothes. Without a secret identity or social life to speak of, changing in and out of his uniform seemed like a waste of time. Not that 1.2 seconds was a lot of time. His hand trailed over suit after suit; at the job he had liked looking professional, but they were a bit much for causal dinning. He moved over to his dresser instead and began digging through his old tee-shirts and plaid over shirts. Eventually simple blue jeans, a pair of white socks, boxers, a white tee shirt, and a red and gold plaid over shirt were all collected and tossed onto the light blue bed sheets.

He allowed himself a moment to listen. The shower was still going and he pulled his powers back before it got any other details. As long as Lois was in the shower she wouldn't walk in on him making things even more uncomfortable between them. In 1.7 seconds, he was a bit rusty it seemed, he was out of the uniform and into the clothes he had just picked out. Looking across the room into the mirror atop Lois' dresser he saw Superman, wearing plaid, staring back at him. His hair was too well groomed and pulled back from his face; even in normal clothes he was sure to be recognized.

_Well, _he smiled to himself, _I know how to fix that._ Using his hand he ruffled up his hair trying to get it to fall naturally. With a bit of elbow grease and some vigorous shaking he was able to free his bangs and get a far more casual, natural look, though some bits still stuck together in odd ways. _No one will notice_, he assured himself calmly. _One more thing..._ He reached over to the small box on top of his own dresser and pulled out a pair of his prescription-less glasses. In a well practiced motion he flipped them open and slid them onto his face. Their slight weight on the bridge of his nose was oddly comfortable. Returning his gaze to the mirror he assured himself that indeed, he no longer looked like the Man of Steel.

Finished dressing, he sat down on the bed next to his costume, intentionally facing the wall away from the shower. Speedy dressing certainly had it's down sides, as his mind was taking his lack of activity as a license to remember all of his... adventures with Lois in the shower. Looking down at the costume beside him, he found himself another short lived activity: finding something to carry it in. Of course, the room had several bags and a few brief cases, so there was little to do other then pick one and toss his suit in.

Somewhere along the line, he had taken to pacing back and forth along his side of the bed. He was missing something, he was sure of that. Keeping his mind on what he was forgetting kept it off Lois' marathon shower... for the most part._ I'm dressed, I have my costume, my 'date' is getting ready_ ... _money._ It was a simple thing really, but once you've gotten use to not using it, it is hard to remember you need it. Pulling open his sock drawer, he began rummaging through until he found the old lock box that contained a small emergency supply of money. Having no clue where the key might be, he simply broke the lock off and was rewarded with 120 dollars, which would be enough for awhile. Before he could pocket the cash, the sound of the door opening greeted his ears.

"Well that was annoying," Lois said behind his back, "The shampoo and conditioner turned into powder and a rock respectively. I had to dig under the sink for something sealed and even they smelled rather odd, but whatever gets-" When he turned to face her she stopped mid sentence and her eyes widened. She was cleaned up, her hair brushed but still wet. The red towel that was hanging on her right arm slipped from her grasp. "Whoa! Smallville, you look... like a totally different person!"

"Well, thank goodness you recognized me then," He said half seriously then smiled. The effectiveness of his disguise had always been a bit of a sore spot with Lois, so it was probably not a great idea to tease her about it.

"It's the plaid. Only you would pick out something as horrendous as that," She teased "Besides you look more like yourself with your hair like that... but those glasses are a bit jarring."

"Come on," He smiled. It felt good to be teased again, as he slipped the money into his pocket, "Lets get you something to eat." He offered her his arm and her eyebrows lifted as she shook her head lightly.

"How about let's not play knight in shinning armor?" she said flatly and walked past him into the living room. He followed her as she made a right turn out towards the balcony.

"Lois, that's the wrong way," he chuckled. "We will be leaving through the front door this time."

"Why?" Lois asked, obviously trying not to look disappointed. It was a pretty good show but he had become the master of reading Lane moods.

"Because, as much as we both might enjoy the flight, having a relaxed meal after flying in might be a bit difficult; what with the staring, pointing, dumbfounded looks-"

"Fine!" Lois interrupted him, defeated. "Good point. You win. I guess we have been getting a lot of strange looks with you in that get up." She walked over to the door. "Let's just get out of here. I'm starving."


	12. Pancake

**Chapter 11 - Pancake**

"_Fine, I guess we have been getting a lot of strange looks with you in that get up." She walked over to the door. "Let's just get out of here. I'm starving."_

Lois stared at her stack of strawberry syrup coated pancakes, then at the food that wasn't in front of him, then up at his face. He knew he was staring at her. He knew it was making her uncomfortable, but he couldn't find it within himself to stop.

"You going to eat something?" She asked hopefully.

"I love you," The words slipped carelessly out of his mouth, without thought or warning.

Lois' eyes widened and her cheeks took on a slight flush. She then shoved a giant helping of pancake into her mouth, and proceeded to look at all the lovely posters hanging in the IHoP. Before she could even finish chewing her first bite, she shoved another giant wedge in her mouth. Lois loved pancakes, they were one of her favorite comfort foods, which had prompted the decision to bring her here, but she didn't love them _that_ much.

"Lois, you cannot keep your mouth full forever."

"Oh yes I can!" she said with her mouth still extraordinarily full, so it came out more like 'aw yesh ah cahn!'

"I've seen you try it before," he told her as he felt a smile curve onto his lips, "it didn't work then, it won't work now."

Lois looked slightly confused, "When did that happen?" she asked with a still too full mouth.

"At work, when I asked you what you thought of Mandy," He grinned widely remembering that day. "You shoved everything on your desk, and mine, that could possibly be viewed as edible into your mouth." He chuckled slightly, "I think you ate my eraser."

Lois made a weird gulping sound as a very panicked look formed on her face. Faster then the eye could see, he was behind her and gently patted her on the back. Crumbles of pancake were coughed up onto her napkin. Not one to be daunted by a small thing like choking, Lois looked up at him.

"I ate an eraser?!" She asked.

"Yes," He moved to sit down across from her once more, "and you still had to tell me what you thought of Mandy."

"That bad huh? You must have really liked that Mandy girl for me to avoid telling you like that..."

"Well, no actually," he felt sheepish admitting this to her and absently scratched the back of his head. "I liked you," he muttered so low he hoped, for reasons he couldn't comprehend, she could not hear then spoke up again. "And you where always talking about guys to me, like I was you best girl pal or something, I hoped maybe talking about girl with you would... well, if nothing else, get you to stop."

Lois looked down right dumbstruck, with her jaw hanging slightly. He was quite thankful she hadn't begun eating again. He really didn't want to have to preform the Heimlich maneuver.

"And that worked?!" She demanded.

"Well we did get married." He said with a smart grin, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

Lois shifted uncomfortably again. Her eyes returned to her stack of pancakes and she cut herself off an reasonable bite this time, thank goodness.

"I meant it." He couldn't help himself, she might not feel the same way now but he couldn't hide his feelings, and even before he had really allowed himself to recognize her, he had done a poor job of it. "I really love you Lois Lane. Don't worry, you don't have to say anything."

And she didn't. Lois just stared down at her plate eating in total silence. Uncomfortable wasn't exactly the word... tense silence seemed a better descriptor. He wasn't sure what to say now, and Lois seemed to be at a similar loss, both waiting for the other to speak. He knew it wouldn't be too long. He had the advantage. 37 years of life in the arctic with little to do but wait for the world to need him had caused him to grow accustomed to tense silences.

"So... we worked together?" she finally spoke but still didn't look up at him. "You said our desks so..."

"Yeah, we worked side-by-side," he smiled at her, trying for his best reassuring look but since she still refused to meet his gaze it was lost.

"Guess I didn't make it then," she sighed.

"What?" Now he was quite lost.

"As a reporter, I mean." He wanted to laugh at that but she sounded rather upset so...

"Lois you made it," He reassured her. "All the way to top reporter at the Daily Planet. I was lucky to be your partner."

Lois looked at him now. Her eyebrows raised in disbelief, as if he had told her pink elephants had rained down on Metropolis.

"Look Smallville," Lois said in an annoyed tone."I've believed a lot of insane stuff up to this point. You being a flying alien not being low on that list, but _you_... a reporter at the Daily Planet? Please." she rolled her eyes before adding, "Don't push your luck."

He was glad that he wasn't eating just then, because he would have been the one choking. As it was he managed an almost strangled chuckle.

"Lois," he said through bouts of chuckles, "It couldn't be that long since you would have said _you_ being at the Daily Planet was the impossible part of the story."

Lois huffed as he begin to really laugh.

"Fine, point taken. You can stop laughing now."

"No I can't." It was simply the truth but Lois looked less then pleased by it.

Her face tightened into a scowl as she spoke: "Fine laugh it up, Lois and her pathetic journalism career are hilarious." That got him to stop. It felt like a sharp slap to the face from Doomsday. Sure he would tease her but he would never...

"Lois, I'm not-"

"So the Inquisitor isn't the Daily Planet, or even the Herald, but it's something! And while chasing after chupacabras may not be the most dignified work, My name is in print! I named the Green Arrow!"

"Lois-"

"I have worked hard and you can make fun of me all you want but I found that fighting-"

"Lois!" that got her attention.

"What?" she still looked steamed.

"I wasn't making fun of you." he said sincerely, "I wasn't laughing at you." She still looked... well... less then convinced; if this wasn't going to end up a disaster he would have to do some quick talking. "Really I wasn't! At least not in that way... I was laughing because... you make me happy," He reached out and grasped her left hand, "Just being around you, and what you said it reminded me a lot of something you've said before, when we met up again at the Daily Planet."

Lois stared down and bit her lip. She was very openly nervous, "Smallville," she began with a somewhat pained voice.

His first thought was to confess just how much he loved it when she called him that, but looking at her face he knew it would be a bad idea. Lois wasn't in the mood to hear it. "Yeah... I know." He stopped her before she could continue. He didn't need to hear another 'letting him down gently' speech. He let go of her hand, feeling slightly pained at the absence of it's warmth.

Lois tried and failed to hold a smile. "Well," she said simply.

"Well," he replied in turn.

His immunity to the awkwardness of the situation seemed to have run out because the silence was becoming painful to his ears. He searched through his memories of their conversation, trying to find some point to return to that was less tense. Of course since he was trying to find something else it was all he could think of, but thinking of all the tension between them was not entirely unpleasant.

"So..."

He began to feel guilty for the amount of times he had reduced Lois to this state today. If only he knew what she knew he could have a jumping off point... He cursed himself for not thinking of that two 'umms' ago.

"So, when exactly are you from?" _Well that was down right eloquent._

"What?" Lois looked slightly confused but before he could explain what he had meant the clouds of confusion parted from her face. "Oh! Right," she sounded ready to laugh at herself. "Well lets see... yesterday was Tuesday the... 19th of April." She reasoned out, "Oh! Two-thousand-seven. You think, with this being the year twenty-one-eleven, I'd remember to put that first." He was about to tell her that it was understandable but she continued, "Everything is so weird and different, and I have no idea what is going on. But it's like... it's like... well I know you. In fact, you're the only thing I know here." She looked straight into his eyes then, and he could swear she saw deep into his soul. "Your the only thing that makes any sense, so when you're around I keep forgetting how crazy it is... I guess that really doesn't make that much sense either, just forget it." Except that it made perfect sense to him, because it basically summed up his feelings.

"No, it does. I know exactly how you feel," he confessed slowly. She raised a brow slowly. "Well maybe not exactly... but I get it, I do." He smiled at her perhaps a little too hopefully because Lois looked away from his face again.

"So April," He tried restarting the conversation he had intended to begin. "Hundred and four years ago in April.." He tried to think of what exactly had and had not happened by then but his mind seemed stuck on the slight flush that he could have sworn Lois had worn when he smiled.

"Right," Lois seemed to grasp his problem, "well lets see... Big memorable events." He stopped himself from saying that he remembered every moment of his life with her. "You, me, and a Cage Match to the death?" She broke out into a grin then and chuckled lightly. "Sounds a lot funnier then it was."

He smiled back, "You're right, it does." So she remembered fighting Titan together. That meant that Oliver was history, and had been for months within her mind. There was a great amount of satisfaction within that thought. She may not love him back yet but he had no competition within her heart.

"That was about a week ago. I showed you the article I wrote. You looked like you were trying really hard not to laugh." She had sounded very casual until the end when a very accusing tone formed in her voice.

Thinking back he knew she was right. He had been trying very hard not to laugh. It wasn't her article in and of itself, that had actually been really good. I was just an article, in The Inquisitor, without a single mention of aliens that had actually been all about aliens. Well, an alien. He hadn't actually been mentioned in the article, for which he was highly thankful.

"Please, Lois-" that's when he heard them. People were screaming, crying out in pain and fear. He jumped up out of his seat and drew his briefcase to him. "I have to go. I uhh... I need..."

"To put on the crazy suit and fly somewhere?" Lois stood up, seeming unsurprised.

"Yeah..." He felt really stupid. He had been so caught up in the past. He had subconsciously started listening for emergencies like he did then, and was even going to spit out some pathetic lie about leaving the oven on or something.

"Okay. Let's just put down some money and we can get out of here."

"No, Lois, we aren't going anywhere." Lois now looked quite confused.

"But you..."

"I'm going, alone. It's too dangerous, I'm not taking you." At that Lois looked down right pissed.

"You don't need to wor-"

"This isn't a discussion, I don't have time." With that he left all the money he had on the table and was out the door before anyone could blink. Within a few seconds he was changed and in the air headed for danger.


	13. Departed

**Chapter 12 - Departed**

"_This isn't a discussion, I don't have time." With that he left all the money he had on the table and was out the door before anyone could blink. Within a few seconds he was changed and in the air headed for danger. _

It had been a long, long time since he had dealt with such a small scale emergency. An apartment complex on Allison Avenue had caught fire. Green Lantern had arrived shortly after Superman and the two of them along with the local firefighters had set to work evacuating the building and containing the fire.

It felt good. Everyone lived, and aside from a few cases of smoke inhalation and some bruises, everyone was unharmed. He had been ignoring this kind of work for a very long time. The Justice League had grown so much, filled with the children of his former colleagues and friends, and, of course, with the new 1st generation heroes. They had a system now: he was an adviser and a founder - someone to call for help but not a member. Being around them had only reminded him of those who had fallen and after Lois had... he simply couldn't take being reminded of what was gone. Superman was called in for huge emergencies: tsunamis, hurricanes, alien invasions, earthquakes, that sort of thing. He didn't have much one-on-one time with anyone that way, and the Justice League handled the "small stuff." Once, this arrangement had been satisfying but today he felt guilty for it. It had felt so good to be really helping people again rather then saving the world just because it was his job.

The light feeling in his heart was quickly crushed by the knowledge of what he would face when he returned to the IHoP. Lois would be pissed. Even when she had understood his duties as Superman, Lois hadn't liked being left behind; she understood why he left her, but she never liked it. This Lois didn't understand. She didn't know the extent of his powers, the danger he constantly threw himself into, and how important it was to him that she was safe.

When he arrived in the alley behind the restaurant, he quickly changed back into his civilian clothes and messed up his hair. A feeling of dread settled on him as he walked around to the front door. He really didn't want to have the fight he knew they were going to have, but there was very little he could do about it now. He gathered up his courage and walked in as calmly as possible.

As he approached the booth that Lois had been sitting at, he discovered that it was now occupied by a rather large man, eating a waffle. Scanning the restaurant he found that Lois was nowhere to be seen. It was beyond predictable, why he had even bothered returning at all was... well he supposed there was always hope. His gaze returned to the large man sitting where Lois had been before he left, and sighed wistfully.

"What are you looking at?" The large man at the table seemed rather unhappy to be sighed at.

"Errr... Nothing, sorry!" Hoping to avoid an unpleasant encounter he continued: "My date was here earlier is all, and I guess she ran out on me. Sorry, I'll just be going now."

He ran out of the IhoP and didn't look back; thankfully the man had did not follow. Once outside he walked briskly back behind the building into the alley way. He leaned against the alley wall, closed his eyes and listened. He listened for the rhythm that calmed him and guided him through every moment, the rhythm he had not stopped listening to since he first picked up on it just outside the bar, Lois' gentle heartbeat. Focusing in on it like this allowed him to pin point the source. Where she had landed herself was both surprising and completely not at the same time.

hey looks folks a scene switch in chapter!

Lois was watching the skies from the roof of the Daily Planet when he arrived. She sat on the roof leaning her back up against the concrete guard wall, her head lolled up staring right at him as he landed. She didn't look angry and that worried him... a lot. He landed slowly, cape bellowing about him in the wind.

"Lois, are you-" he began but she cut him off.

"You found me. I had this weird feeling you would be able to no matter where I wandered off to." Her voice was distant as if her heart was a million miles away.

He slowly walked over to her, so cautiously, as if she was apt to jump up and run. He sat down next to her; the concrete had become warm in the early May afternoon sunshine. "Lois-" he began yet again.

"The 'S' stands for Superman doesn't it?" She examined his chest for a minute at she said it.

"No, actually it's not even an 'S' at all. It's 'El,' my family crest."

"Oh. Superman... that's... descriptive." She wrinkled up her nose a little. "It's really silly. Who the hell came up with that anyway? He's got super-powers, he's a man, he's SUPERMAN!" She laughed half heartedly and his heart sunk to the pit of his stomach.

"Yeah well... anyway Lois I-" He tried to think of anything to get her off that subject, she was obviously already unhappy, teasing wasn't a good idea but Lois didn't give him time.

"Oh God! It was me, wasn't it?" She rolled her eyes and slumped back against the guard wall. Lois wasn't a star reporter for nothing, she was rather good at reading people... most of the time.

"Well... yeah, it was." He tried a comforting smile but Lois seemed lost in her own world.

"Figures." Lois muttered, "Watch the amazing Lane unknowingly insult herself..."

"Lois, it's a great name. Simple, short, easy to remember." He smiled brightly at her, and reassuringly placed his hand on her shoulder. He could have sworn he heard her heart speed for a moment, but it was most likely wishful thinking on his part.

She tried to brush his hand off her shoulder as she said, "You don't have to patronize me Clark."

"I'm not." He allowed his hand to be moved but trailed it slowly down her arm, maybe a little too slowly by the way she turned to face him and the flustered look he saw on it. "I like my name. That's what really counts right?"

She pulled her right arm away from him grasping it in her left as if she were cold. "Yeah I guess." She bit her lip lightly.

"Lois?" He moved to look her in the eye.

"Yeah?" She seemed reluctant but eventually returned his gaze.

"What are you doing up here?"

Lois paused, biting her lip. "It's nothing. It's stupid." She said as if that was her final word.

"I doubt it." He said, "Please tell me." He pleaded to her with his eyes. He wished that she would open up to him. It hurt him to see her pull away from him so dramatically.

"I..." she began shakily. "I came here to see Chlo."

_Oh... _His heart ached for her then. She was just coming to realize all that was lost.

"I know it's stupid but... I was so mad at you! I left to get some air and I saw it. The Daily Planet Globe and I thought Chloe... Chlo would be up for a good understanding rant. I knew she wasn't here, I really did but..."

"Your heart didn't." He finished for her.

"Yeah." There were tears welling up in her eyes.

"That's not stupid Lois. It's... very sweet." He tried to smile and failed. His heart was heavy, he carried such weights all the time but Lois... _she's so young... She shouldn't have to bear this._

"She's dead isn't she." A tear rolled out of the side of her left eye and he gently reached out and wiped it away with his thumb. He hadn't thought, only acted.

"Yes." He nodded solemnly. Lying wouldn't help her, particularly one she wouldn't believe.

"Did she... was she... How?" She finally questioned.

"She," he felt sick saying it, but Lois wouldn't let up, he supposed this was something she needed to know however painful it might be. "She was 78. She had a brain tumor."

Lois looked as if she was going to be sick, he didn't know if he should stop or not.

"She didn't die in a lot of pain." _Unlike a lot of others,_ but he would try to keep that to himself. "It was really peaceful. She was surrounded by friends and family. You, me, James-"

"James?" Lois asked.

"Her grandson, well one of her grandsons."

Lois smiled, "My little Chlo? A grandmother? Wow!" Her eyes sparkled a little though the tears. He desperately wished to kiss those tears away to see only the sparkle, but he knew Lois would not approve.

"Tell me more," she said throwing him out of his musings.

"Hmm?"

"About Chloe. How many grandkids did she have? What were their names?"

"Oh, she had seven. Four girls and three boys. The oldest was Clio, she was Nellie's, then James, who was pretty obviously Chloe's favorite, she said he reminded her of his Granddad. I admit I saw it too what with the way he packed that camera-"

"Wait! James? As in Jimmy?" the emotions in Lois' voice were somewhat mixed. He would describe her voice as delightedly confused.

"Yeah. As in Jimmy Olsen." He smiled as he remembered his friend. He fondly remembered all the times he and Jimmy had packed around chasing after Lois, who was chasing after a story. Strange that even with super powers Lois always seemed a step ahead. Jimmy was his constant companion in being ditched by Lois.

"So they stay together all that time." Lois sighed, He wondered for a moment what was wrong before he registered how wistful it was.

"Well no, not exactly. They broke up... will break up in a few months..." Tenses were beginning to give him a head ache.

"Oh, why? I mean they seem so happy now and, that just seems..."

"Yeah, Chloe was going through something. She didn't want to bring him into it, and she wanted more experience, I guess that's the right word, before she settled down. At least that's what she said... She was really broken up about it, Jimmy was even worse but, she stuck to her guns."

"But they did get back together."

"After about 4-5 years, of course we had to deal with Chloe's boyfriend from hell for the 5 months before." He sneered remembering that guy. _Slimy bastard._

"Boyfriend from hell?" Lois half laughed while looking a little concerned.

"Joshua. He was smart, good looking even according to you, and was rather charming. He made Chloe laugh and treated her like a goddess about 70 of the time. The rest of the time he was rude, condescending, ignored her or was overly demanding."

"And we let that jerk-"

"Chloe wouldn't hear anything about it. Like talking to a brick wall. She was wrapped up in it. We tried. I think you and I were the co-presidents of the 'anyone but Joshua' club. Jimmy walked around the Planet like a phantom during that time. I don't know exactly what happened but one day, she just ran up to Jimmy and gave him the hugest kiss right in the middle of Bull Pen." He and Lois had been ecstatic seeing that. Lois had jumped up and given him a joyous hug and he had kissed her. She had pushed him off of her, of course. It was the first time in a long time that he had kissed her and there was no Red-k around to blame it on. He tried to lie to her, to tell her it was just the heat of the moment, but it was something he had be wishing to do for years.

"Afterward she kicked Joshua to the curb and got back together with Jimmy officially and then they got married. They had kids and-" He cut himself short. He really didn't want to finish that story, when you live long enough there are no happily ever afters.

"And?" Lois asked eyebrows raised inquisitively.

"I don't suppose you would be satisfied with 'and they all lived happily ever after' would you?" he knew it was hopeless but he really wished that for just this once she would be.

"Not with that dangling 'and,' Clark." She gave him a glare. "I could tell by your tone that those were not the going to be the next words out of your mouth."

"Lois is it really-"

"I just want to know what happened to my cousin!" She cried out suddenly almost in hysterics. She pushed herself up from off the floor and stared down at him.

He rose to met her eye and reached out to hold her but she shoved him hard and angry. "Stop toying with the answers!" she screamed. "Stop cutting off ideas! Stop leaving me out! guessing! worrying! wondering!" she reached out to push him once again and he locked his arms around her holding them tightly against his chest.

"Lois, I-" He began before Lois screamed.

She then pushed up against his chest and arched her back to stare him boldly in the face. "Don't _Lois _Me! Just tell me the fucking truth! Tell me what happened to her!" Her eyes were full of fire and tears she refused to let fall as she screamed at him. Anger, grief, fear, and guilt radiated out of those deep brown orbs. Though his answer was sure not to be a balm to her soul, at least it would alleviate her fear of what could have been.

"Then Jimmy died." _And I wasn't there to save him_. He finished his sentence at last. Lois stopped pushing then her face falling away from meeting his gaze and she became somewhat limp in his arms.

"Was she...?" Lois didn't finish her heartbreaking question and she really didn't need to.

"She was devastated, of course but, she had her children, her friends, you and me, her work, and soon she had her very first grandchild." He smiled down at Lois, "Chloe was surrounded by love."

Lois didn't ask anything more of him then she just stared off into space. It was a lot to take in, too much. He held her gently supporting her but not confining her. Lois seemed to drift off into her own thoughts without him.

It may have been hours later when he allowed his early decision to affect upon the small world of mutual grief he and Lois resided in. The larger world still needed him and he needed to be able to be reached.

"Lois?" he asked softly as he brushed the hair back from her face. She hadn't been crying, and that worried him slightly.

"Yeah," she said as she moved out of his embrace.

"I need to go back to-" _My house?_ No, the fortress wasn't a house. _My home? _No, he knew where his home was, where ever she is. "-the place I have been staying."

She looked at him questioningly.

"There are some things I have to do there so... I would like it if you would come with me." He wouldn't drag her there like he had to their apartment but he didn't want to leave her alone like this.

"Sure," she sounded rather non-committal.

"We'll need to drop by the apartment first and get you a coat."

"Fine." He couldn't even tell if she was paying attention anymore. So he quite literally swept her off her feet into a bridal carry so fast she didn't have time to blink.

"Smallville!" she cried out in surprised half protest. If he could do nothing else for her he could distract her with one of her favorite pass times.

"Up, up and away?" he teased before taking off into the clouds.


	14. Frozen

**Chapter 13 - Frozen**

"_Up, up and away?" he teased before taking off into the clouds._

Lois held him close as he flew her North. She was bundled up tight in a down filled wool lined parka; even still she was shivering slightly from the biting wind. He enjoyed the weight of her in his arms, the feel of her snuggling up against him... even if it was subconscious on her part and only to fight off the biting cold. When he had shown her his recommendations for what to wear on the trip Lois had asked him if he lived in an Igloo. He was happy to see her sense of humor had returned but saddened to see her use it to put a wall between them once again. He'd love to tear through it, tickle her until she cried and kiss her senseless, but she wasn't with him yet. Not even close he feared.

He wished he could see her eyes when the fortress came into view, however the way she was situated in his arms made that impossible. The first time he had taken her here she had called it beautiful, her eyes had sparkled in joy and appreciation. Lois' perspectives had always been unique. Her appreciation of the fortress certainly showed it. No one else had ever called it 'A crystal palace,' or 'The type of place that prince charming takes takes his date after sunset.'

When they landed at the fortress entrance he turned to catch a glimpse of her face. Lois looked puzzled. Her eyes were narrowed, her brows furrowed, and her lips slightly parted as if any minute she was about to speak. It was far from the reaction he had expected. He almost felt disappointed. _Perhaps it was the cold_?

Clark took her gloved hand in his and walked with her into the fortress where it was warmer. Lois set a slow pace. She gazed around the grand entrance slowly, her eyes tracing the high ceilings, ice crystal supports, the floor everything.

He was so distracted by Lois' strange reaction that he almost missed the tingle at the back of his neck.

Something was off. Something was wrong, but he simply couldn't place it.

One of the console crystals was blinking purple. Nothing too odd about that He had messages, most likely from Diana. He had never returned to fill her in on what happened. No, his senses told him there was something wrong but his mind simply couldn't grasp what it was. He begin scanning the fortress when suddenly a voice spoke.

"Heaven..." Lois whispered the word like a prayer. He turned to look at her, his sense of foreboding forgotten. Lois' eyes where dancing with emotions and unshed tears. Her face was full of wonder and a hint of sorrow.

_Heaven_? It was such strange thing to say, yet it was some how familiar. He wracked his brain for what it might be, then it clicked into place.

_'I was in this palace of ice. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I was bathed in this warm light, and I knew everything was gonna be okay... No. It was real. I think I died and went to heaven.'_

It had been a rare gem of a moment between them. One of those precious few times when Lois had shown him a glimpse of her heart, of the soft tender warmth beneath all those walls she held up so firmly between herself and the world. At the time he had been truly moved and deeply confused. He didn't understand his comfort or paradoxical discomfort at her openness. The emotions that clouded his head and caused him to take her hand had been a mystery to him. It wasn't until he caught her eyes and saw the down right disturbed look that he realized how intimate his action had been. For some time he had rationalized that moment as simple exhaustion induced brain addle for himself and painkiller induced euphoria for her. It was, however, not too much longer before he held the moment close to his heart and when he had dared to remember it he allowed himself to hope.

Lois was once again opening up before him, and this time it was breaking his heart.

"Heaven, this was heaven," she choked out, "But it wasn't heaven at all..." her shoulders slumped down as she looked in pained. He stepped forward to reach out to her. The sound of snow crunching beneath his feet caused her to snap up and stare at him, her eyes brimming with tears and now anger. "Don't." she said almost growling as she smacked away his hand that had begun to reach out for her. "Don't bother Clark." The way she said his name felt like a slap in the face. Sharp anger boiled in the word. She stepped past him and farther into the fortress. when she stood a good 25 feet away from him she turned and stared. "You knew! and you let be believe I had caught a glimpse of heaven."

"Lois..." she looked as if she was about to interrupt him but he quickly continued, "could you let me finish?" He took her grumbling as a go ahead. "I'm sorry, I was young and I wasn't thinking. I had no idea that you would ever see the fortress again and had no idea that it would hurt you this much if I let you believe. Now in my defense, I didn't exactly know how tell you that you had stumbled upon my secret arctic fortress." Lois looked like she was about to choke on something before snorted and managed to regain her, slightly less furious, posture. "I had a lot of secrets I kept from you, some that I know hurt you a lot more than this just now, and I'm sorry." He took a step forward. "I didn't do it to hurt you, _ever._ My secrets are a lot for anyone to bear... I didn't know what would happen then if I told you the truth." She looked into his eyes and they must of spoken his sincerity because she stopped sneering. "Do you forgive this man for being a silly boy and not seeing so many things?" He asked hopefully.

"Clark I..." Lois backed herself up slowly against one of the pillars. Jumping a little when she touched it. "I mean..." She was about to say something more when suddenly she began gasping. Her hands reached up to grasp at a strange white hand that seemed to have formed around her neck.

He set himself to run to her rescue when a voice stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Superman," a slightly feminine but rough voice spoke from the face that was now beginning to phase out of the pillar. It was death white like the hand, with teeth like that of a shark forming out of it's nose-less face. Red glowing eyes narrowed fiercely as it spoke again, "One wrong move and I snap her little neck."


	15. Solitude

**Chapter 14 – Solitude**

"_I wouldn't do that if I were you, Superman," a slightly feminine but rough voice spoke from the face that was now beginning to phase out of the pillar. It was death white like the hand, with teeth like that of a shark forming out of it's nose-less face. Red glowing eyes narrowed fiercely as it spoke again, "One wrong move and I snap her little neck."_

Superman stopped in his tracks. He would have to be very cautious, for he knew what the creature slowly materializing out of the ice spire was and it was more then capable of doing as it threated. If it were not for the imminent danger to Lois' life Superman would have simply marveled in his own astonishment caused by it's presence here. He had not seen a White Martian in over 60 years when he returned what he thought were the last of the escapes to their prison within the phantom zone; apparently he had been very wrong.

The White Martian kept it's head mostly in line with Lois', making a heat vision strike far too dangerous to risk. Lois was gasping for breath and flailing as much as she could. When her eyes made contact with his and he saw the fear raging in them. He knew that his eyes must have looked the same despite the outward calm he tried to project. Panic would do him no good and most likely get Lois killed, yet logic didn't stop the burning pit of fear gathering in his stomach.

The White Martian kept her grip perfectly tight, just enough for Lois to barely take breaths but not enough to give Lois chance of wriggling free, or the ability to speak.

"You were very useful to me girl, almost useful enough," The White Martian whispered sinisterly to Lois, "Too bad the supposed love of Superman's life couldn't keep him away for another hour."

Clark could actually feel his heart stop in his chest. His mind ran every where at once. How was he going to save Lois? What did it mean useful? What did it need another hour for? What was it i's plan?

As the thoughts raced around his head he only managed: "What?"

"You heard me Superman," The White Martian hissed, her claws tightened ever so slightly around Lois' neck before loosening again. Lois hissed in pain and a single drop of crimson blood rolled down her neck. "I said it's too bad that the supposed love of your life could not distract you for more then half a day."

Of course that had answered none of his real questions, and his confusion could only do so much to quell the burning fear rising within his gut. He had to think of something, Lois' life hung in the balance. The only thing he could think to do was stall for time and wait for an opening, hoping against hope that panic and twisting anger at the sight of Lois' blood would not cost him everything.

He held his hands up by the sides of his ears in surrender, though he knew, and suspected the Martian did as well, it hardly incapacitated his powers he was just as dangerous now.

"Don't hurt her. Just tell me what you want." He said as calmly as he possibly could though he felt his voice falter a little. A silent 'I'll do anything' rang through his mind, clear enough in his voice and face that he feared the creature could hear it as well as he could.

The White Martian laughed, the sound cut through him, sickening like the deafening crunch of a neck bone being snapped.

"Yes," she hissed. "What I want, you can do." though he could not see her face he knew, almost could feel, the smile that had formed on her face. Sharp teeth being exposed to brush against the back of Lois' neck as she stood helpless. It was nauseating.

"I need you to open your jail." she spoke slowly and menacingly. "Open the phantom zone, and let my people go!"

Clark was taken aback; he strangely had not expected this to be her demand. White Martians where violent, dangerous, killers he couldn't possibly let them loose on the world. "or I'll kill her!" He had let his surprise lower his emotional guard and she had read his thoughts like a book. Now she was squeezing the life slowly out of Lois' neck...

_She's going to die! I'm going to watch Lois die again! This is all my fault!_ No, he couldn't allow these self defeating thoughts to prevail. He would think his way out of this. _Just one clear shot..._

He dropped his arms and sneered at the beast, before casually shrugging.

"So what?" He asked, now only mimicking the cold he had long cultivated. Both Lois and the Martian were visibly taken back. "Why should I care if you kill your puppet? You said it yourself she was useful to you. What did you do? create some clone in a lab? Why should I risk the lives of billions for an impostor?" It was all disturbingly easy to say. So easy to not feel again. Like an old friend he slipped the ice around his heart, making himself once again unreadable to the creatures gaze. He strode forward as he spoke the heartless words. The Martian hissed again and pulled back.

"Stop! Stop now!" she screamed out, "Every step you take closer is killing Lois Lane! The real Lois Lane!" She sounded desperate now, on the run, spitting out information that he truly already knew. She had to keep her hostage valuable, the longer he played that he didn't believe the more she would talk, the more she talked the more time he had to find an opening.

"Not possible. Lois is dead and gone, for almost four decades." He stated the facts with an ice cold emotionless voice. His stance was one he knew to be intimidating to his enemies, not to mention the young leaguers. He saw the fear in Lois' eyes, she thought he was going to let her die but he didn't let those thoughts touch him, he played his cards, now to save Lois he would have to keep his bluff.

"It's not impossible!" The Martian tried to back away, but she had no where to go. "I knew you wouldn't accept a fake, you'd see right through a android, a clone wouldn't have the memories and personality, it had to be the real deal." She explained desperately, once in control she now found herself between a pillar and a very angry god amongst men, with only a human shield between them.

Her position was strategic only if Lois was worth surrendering for, he observed allowing the cold to temper his fears and see, once again, objectively. The cold was so tempting and easy to wear once again, it made things simpler.

"I spent years and years finding a way! Bartering with aliens working on the side lines all to get to this moment! I pulled her from the time stream and dropped her off, I even aimed for a time before she was married to that other fool. The perfect decoy and the perfect hostage!"

He saw it now, the desperation in her eyes as she pleaded out the worthiness of her hostage. She knew it was her only hope. He watched the Martian cling to Lois with its left arm, desperately almost affectionately. How much effort had she poured into this plan? How much time had been spent planing this desperate gambit? Pity threatened to rise within him, but he couldn't have it. She would kill Lois without a thought if she didn't need her. Pity, fear, confusion, none of them could break the ice he had grasped onto. He wouldn't let this Martian bitch get the power back now that he had it.

He moved like a cat stalking his pray as he began a large slow circle to the creature's left. His face an impassive mask of bitter cold indifference.

"You expect me to believe that you pulled her through **time**?" He played up disbelief within his voice, though in truth the idea made a great deal of sense.

"Yes!" The Martian still sounded desperate. _Good..._

"So, in order to enact some half cocked prison break, you pull Lois out of time, toss her into the middle of no where, in some hope that her presence would cause my world to come crashing down around my ears long enough to keep me out of the fortress?" his voice sounded disbelieving and almost outright mocking.

Then he saw it. The Martian flinched ever so slightly.

_There!_

"Thank you." he said sincerely.

In that moment three things happened all at once.

The White Martian blinked her eyes in confusion.

Her hand loosened it's grip on Lois's neck ever so slightly.

And Superman's fist connected with the Martian's jaw.


	16. Reflection

**Chapter 15 - Reflection**

_In that moment three things happened all at once. _

_The White Martian blinked her eyes in confusion._

_Her hand loosened it's grip on Lois's neck ever so slightly._

_And Superman's fist connected with the Martian's jaw._

Superman had been in a lot of fights during his one-hundred and twenty-three years of life. Whereas he styled himself a defender, a peace-keeper, a helping hand... more often then not he was a fist. A mighty force to beat off Earth's attackers and to smack down it's criminals. He didn't like that part of his job. Did he understand that it was necessary? Of course. But like it? Not really. He was by his nature more of a talk things over type of person, but that by no means meant that he wasn't good at it.

As one fist connected with the Martian's jaw, he used his other arm to grab a hold of Lois. The White Martian flew back smashing through the column of ice behind it and continuing before it dephased as to not to injure itself further against the next one. Clark pulled Lois protectively to him, quickly checking her vitals to make sure she was alright. Other then scratches on her neck and some shock, Lois wasn't in life threatening condition.

"Lois, run! Hide! Just whatever you do stay out of the way! I'll handle this!" For the first time today Clark got no arguments, no hesitation from one Lois Lane. Lois ran out of his arms and Superman took off into the air and scanned the room for the Martian. She wouldn't get her claws on Lois again.

While an enemy that could turn invisible and intangible was certainly an annoying one, a single White Martian was little else to him. He had fought gods, monsters capable of destroying worlds, enemies that could never be destroyed; What was one desperately lonely alien? _Besides a perfect description of yourself..._

It was while he was scanning an ice pillar that she lunged at him- a mistake. The White Martian threw herself at him and together they slammed into another part of the fortress... but now Superman had her. He grasped the back of her head and in his minds eye he saw Lois' scared helpless face and this things twisted smile as he slammed his fist into it's face. She tried to become intangible, but they were connected now... her attempts to escape him were futile.

They flew erratically around the fortress; him holding her head and punching when he could, her clawing at him, shrieking, trying to throw him off however she could, phasing in and out, flying into columns of ice.

His suit was shredded and the fortress was a crumbling mess when his fist connected with her face one last time. Blood trickled from the White Martian's nose, her teeth were shattered and with this last punch he felt her jawbone snap. She went limp in his grasp, and stopped her erratic struggling.

Superman had once again beat a menace into submission. Not even playing the image of its hand around Lois' neck could remove his sympathy for the desperation that shown in its eyes...

Superman flew down to the floor of the already self repairing fortress. In his arms he carried a broken being... the ice had left him and it seemed he was once more... human. He felt sorry for her, hated her, was grateful and despised her...

He placed her down on the floor of ice, she didn't move save to breathe. He felt guilty, but knew she wouldn't have given up until she was in this state; he knew what he had to do with her. She was too dangerous to allow freedom- she was a killer, a criminal, a threat to all the peace of the world, so there was but one thing to do...

"What's your name?" He asked her.

_S'ra S'miz_, she replied, a whisper in his head rather then a attempting to move her broken jaw.

"Well S'ra S'miz, I'm going to grant your deepest wish," Superman told her moving over to a crystalline council, "I'm going to re-unite you with your people."

Superman heard some strange noises coming from her and he turned to look... S'ra S'miz was crying... _Thank you..._ The voice said in his head. She knew what he had meant. There was a strange understanding between the two of them in that moment. Her wish would be granted... not in the way she wanted but granted, and she would not fight him anymore. Words didn't need to be said, nor thoughts exchanged. The two lonely aliens stared at each other for but a second longer. Superman returned to his work, opening an entrance to the phantom zone...

Once it was opened S'ra S'miz, without a word stood up. Superman watched her slow march to her eternal prison, and too her salvation. S'ra was only about half way there when he felt a soft familiar hand slip around his. Lois stood by his side now, he didn't need to look to confirm it. He knew the feel of her hand by heart, and her presence soothed his heavy heart like no other ever could.

Together they watched hand in hand as S'ra S'miz took one last look at freedom, nodded to them both, and traded it away to never be all alone again.


	17. Distemperature

Chapter 16 -Distemperature

_Together they watched hand in hand as S'ra S'miz took one last look at freedom, nodded to them both, and traded it away to never be all alone again._

Clark watched Lois through a one way mirror. She sat anxiously as the doctors of Star Labs ran every conceivable test on her - even things as mundane as getting her temperature taken; though why they were using an old under the tongue style he couldn't guess.

Dr. Lindale, who was either in charge here or the person least afraid of talking to Superman, came out once more with a load of papers in his arms. He was a short man, going gray and plump. Dr. Lindale was who Superman had originally spoken with about his needs, so it made some sense that the doctor continued to be his liaison to the general staff, who proved more then happy to assist.

"Well, Superman," Dr. Lindale seemed far too happy to say that word, "So far all of our tests have come out normal. Her genetic structure shows none of the key instabilities one would come to expect from a clone. She's had no alterations to her DNA, nor to her basic facial structure; at least not with any technology any of us are familiar with. No accelerated aging or memory implantation. So far all tests show her to be a perfectly normal human woman of approximately twenty one years; though there are some trace chemicals in her body that are very a-typical to normal life conditions-"

"In this century." Superman finished for him.

"Well, my yes that is correct!" The doctors eyes lit up with recognition, "Most of these were indeed common pollutants a number of years ago. I hadn't even... anyway we'll get on that!"

Dr. Lindale turned to leave with a bright inquisitive smile on his face.

"Wait... I have a question, if I may." Clark's curiosity was peeked, he couldn't help himself.

Dr. Lindale stopped and turned quickly, "Oh! Of course!"

"What is with the old fashioned thermometer?" He asked.

"Oh well, you see the doctors... umm... they were having a rather difficult time getting their work done because... umm the patient kept pestering them about everything and..."

"So you figured maybe that would shut her up for a minute?" Superman asked sounding very serious.

"It was the only idea anyone could think of." Dr. Lindale said apologetically. Clark hadn't laughed that hard in a very, very long time.

333333333333333333333333333333333

Superman stared through the one way mirror though Lois was long gone from his gaze. Dr. Lindale had taken her to a different area of the lab to run a different set of tests, seemingly based on what he had said earlier about time. It was why he had brought her here in the first place. He needed answers. Clark knew his heart's mate; he knew she was Lois. He knew it deep down in his soul to the point he didn't need Lindale's conformation; but there was the question of how. A question that he knew Star Labs could answer, or at least he hoped.

S'ra S'miz' left him with a batch of lingering questions and strange ache he couldn't place. _The perfect decoy and the perfect hostage! _S'ra S'miz's words echoed in his head, but what was she now? He needed answers, which was why he had only stood with Lois for a few moments before coming here, or maybe he needed to get away from the reminder of what he had done.

Sending anything to the hell that was the Phantom Zone left him feeling like a monster, and when you saw something of yourself in that someone...

He had expected yelling. Lois was good at yelling at him, and he was sure he had scared the hell out of her when he had played chicken with her life. But Lois was also good at surprising him, at letting him glimpse the soft sympathetic part of her that she kept so well hidden behind walls of cock-sure bravado and sarcasm.

Clark sighed, Lois being out of his sight wasn't helping matters. He knew she was safe, just a few rooms over. In fact, between bouts of over analyzation with no information, Clark listened to her pestering the doctors and technical staff of Star Labs.

"That just flashed blue twice, is that a good or a bad thing? ... No I don't have a degree in physics! But I don't see what that has to do with answering my question! ... Well let me look and I'll tell you if I understand it or not! ... No I don't think I need to have my temperature taken again!"

Clark couldn't help the grin that came across his face, that was his Lois, always givin' um hell.

"_I'm not one of those superstitious people doc, just tell me what it is," Lois told the doctor looking up at the ultrasound image and squinted. "I really don't have time to go through more then one gender of names."_

"_Well you can tell her," Clark said letting go of his wife's hand and looking up at the picture on the screen, "but I'd like to be surprised."_

"_Oh Smallville! That ruins it!" Lois protested._

"_How does that ruin anything?" Clark looked down at her._

"_Well for one I'd still have to go through both sets of baby names with you... and two you know I can't keep a secret!" Lois said sitting up and shuffling much to the ultrasound technician's chagrin. _

"_Mrs..." The technician started._

_Clark rolled his eyes, "Lois do I even need to dignify that with a response?" _

"_Fine! Never mind! Secret it is!" Lois lay back down dramatically. "But we are not naming the baby Krpto... or Skippy!"_

"_Mrs. Lane could you please stop moving around? Now I have to find the baby again!" The technician complained._

"_Geeze it's the only baby in there it's not like it has a lot of room to move around in there!" Lois mocked the technician. "It can't be that hard to find!"_

"Oh you are not putting that thing in my mouth again! Five times is plenty!" Lois' protests from the other room pulled him out of the distant memory. "If one of you gets near me with that again, I swear it is going right up their ass! ... I've put up with hours of poking and prodding, without one answer from you people and this wasn't even my idea so don't tell me to calm down!"

"_Why should I make it easy for you doc?" Lois looked at the doctor impatiently. "Your just going to say the same thing they always say: 'You're old, tickers winding down, no more fatty foods, no more strenuous exercise, no more sex, no more fun of any kind,' and then I'm not going to listen I'll eat what I want and get my kicks while I'm still breathing." The doctor made a face and Clark tried to ignore it._

"_Mrs. Kent..." The doctor began._

"_Lane-Kent." Lois corrected him._

"_Alright then Mrs. Lane-Kent, as your doctor your refusal to change your life style is very concerning to me." The doctor told her._

"_I'm eighty-eight years old, I'm set in my ways." Lois replied._

"_Lois when have you not been set in your ways?" Clark countered._

"_Not important," Lois snapped, "and I wouldn't be 'worrying' the doctor here if you didn't keep insisting that I come see these people, like they are magically going to give us good news. Oh don't give me that look!"_

"_Lois I-"_

Clark was thankfully pulled from his memories when Dr. Lindale returned.

"Superman!" He greeted brightly.

"Dr. Lindale," Clark returned the greeting with a nod, though not even half as brightly.

"Well you were right, the whole this century thing! Completely correct. Her normal background radiation levels are completely indicative of the time, oh and that's not to mention the chronitons! Not only are her levels totally off, she has about twice the normal amount and they seem to be forming some kind of time bubble around her..." Lindale went on for several more minutes and Clark regretted that he had become lax in his reading of modern science, for after that he had absolutely no idea what the man was so enthusiastically saying.

"Doctor... doctor!" Superman interrupted and Lindale finally stopped, "I'm sorry but you lost me back there, what exactly does all that mean?"

"Oh! Of course! I'm sorry, I was just a little excited," Doctor Lindale replied apologetically but still chipper.

"So could you explain to me exactly what you're findings mean?" Clark asked.

"Oh yes. Your young friend has been pulled out of her time; some where during the late 20th, early 21st century I believe; and now has a field of invertedly aligned chronitons keeping her stable within this one. If the field were to be properly manipulated she should, theoretically, return back to the point which she was plucked from the time stream. Now we have some ideas on how best to accomplish this but-"

Clark had stopped listening. He knew this was coming and yet hearing it so straight forward... She fell back into his life, ripped open old wounds, melted the icy calm that he had developed, made him feel alive again, and now... now it was all going to go back to the way it was before. He had to give her up. He wished that S'ra S'miz had not gone so peacefully to the Phantom Zone, because right now he could really use something to hit.

"-Of course that could be dangerous, after all there are the radiation levels to think of and if they aren't firmly -" Lindale was still going on and on. Couldn't he just shut up and let Clark morn? He was about to request just that when Lindale was interrupted by someone else.

"That's all fine and dandy but I'm not doing it." Lois had somehow gotten into the room without him noticing, then again he hadn't been paying attention to anything but the pain in his heart for some time now.

"Excuse me?" Lindale asked confused.

"You heard me," Lois snapped, "I said I'm not going back."


	18. Fear

Chapter 17 - Fear

"_You heard me," Lois snapped, "I said I'm not going back."_

Clark was torn somewhere between being elated and deeply, deeply afraid, so he settled for dumb-struck.

"Ms. Lane, I'm sure this seems rather frighting but I assure you-" Dr. Lindale tried to speak and for once he wasn't smiling, but he should have known better. He was too submissive and Lois was on the attack.

"That you know exactly what you're doing? Done this hundreds of times? Even had the clinical trials with hamsters and everything! And none of them yo-yo-ed all the way back to 1900s right?" Lois asked with fake sincerity in her voice.

"Well now that you mention it we-" Dr. Lindale tried again.

"Have never done this before and really have no idea what will happen?" Lois finished for him placing her fists on her hips and using her height to tower over Lindale.

Doctor Lindale just gaped like a fish.

"Thought so, so no, I'm not playing guinea pig in some experiment of yours thank you." Lois put her foot down literally for added affect.

Clark was, to say the least, confused. This wasn't like Lois at all. She wouldn't coward out of a chance to get back to where she belongs, not the woman who dived off buildings to get exclusives with Superman. What was going on? Lois was bullying the poor doctor, her stance and verbal quips were the stuff she usually reserved for criminal scumbags, and occasionally himself. While being run through a gamut of tests certainly wasn't enjoyable, Clark still couldn't see the reason for so much venom. Clark could come up with no answer, so he made a simple choice.

"Dr. Lindale," Clark interrupted the man's stammering apologetic nothings, "Is Lois in any immediate danger?"

"Well as long as the chronaton field doesn't spontaneously degenerate-" After a look from both Lois and Superman, Lindale decided brevity may be his friend. "Umm well there is no way to know for sure but most likely, No?"

"Good enough for me." Lois said. Of course that was a bit more like Lois; she had never once been afraid for herself at a doctors office. The question plagued him now, _So why was she afraid now?_

"I'll take her home tonight, get some sleep, talk about this more tomorrow." Superman told Lindale, who accepted it without question. Lois however...

"Talk about? What's there to talk about? I've made up my mind and-" Superman cut her off there.

"Lois it's been a long day," He said pleadingly, "A very very long day. I assume you could do with some sleep, and to tell you the truth so could I."

"Fine," Lois agreed reluctantly, "But I want it on the record that I did not agree to do anything here tomorrow." she added.

"Yes, yes we know you are completely disagreeable," Clark said with a grin. Lois turned to him slowly, jaw slightly dropped, her eyebrow twitched up creating a challenging incredulous look.

"Don't mock me while your wearing tights Smallville, you already have so many handicaps." Lois snapped back her voice hard edged but for a moment there was an upward quirk to her lips that Clark did not miss. She was enjoying this.

"Aiee! Aiee! Sailor!" Clark saluted her.

"Oh we are not going to bring that up!" Lois snapped.

"Well we were on the subject of tight red and blue outfits..."

"Red and blue?" Lois asked looking at him.

"Huh?" Suddenly he remembered just where and, more importantly, when he was, "Right... old colors. It's not important... we should go." He looked over at Dr. Lindale again who was blinking in disbelief. "Thank you for your time."

"Yeah it was just peachy being you're guinea pig." Lois said sarcastically.

"Right," Clark took Lois' arm and tried to lead her gently out of the building.

"It was a real honor!" Doctor Lindale called after them.

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

Once outside Star Labs, Lois shrugged his hand off her arm and stepped away from him.

"You know you're going to have to let me touch you again," Clark told her.

"Oh?" Lois asked him challengingly hands returning to her hips and head held high but cocked just so.

"Well we could walk. It's only ten miles or so back to that apartment. Up for that?" Clark replied teasingly enjoying the way her eyebrow twitched. "Or I could fly us there," he offered watching her eyes sparkle just a little at the words, but at the same time that shadow of fear was cast over her face. _What are you afraid of?_

Lois took one tiny step towards him. He recognized the wordless invitation and took a large step back into her personal space. He heard her breath hitch when he did so and her heart start to race. _Me? She's afraid of me?_

Clark felt his heart sink. Lois had never been afraid of him before. Had it been the bluff against S'rah that had placed this fear in her heart? But that wouldn't explain why she wouldn't want to go back to her time...

Clark was so busy trying to figure this out that he failed to take the logical next steps to flying Lois back to the apartment and was just standing by her on the street until she coughed loudly.

"Smallville I know you're really old and all but staring off into space still doesn't suit you." Lois told him.

"Ummm right, sorry," Clark pulled his arms around her waist. He heard her heart actually skip a beat.

"Stop trying to cop a feel and just fly me home farm boy." Lois ordered.

"Right," Clark took off into the sky, "You know I haven't been a farm boy in a long, long time."

"Fine, incredibly old farm guy, whatever." Lois rolled her lovely eyes, but she was smiling what -if he had named her smiles- could only be called the 'flight' smile.

Clark couldn't help but smile a little at that. So things were confusing, horrible, and Lois seemed to be afraid of him, but Lois was still Lois. Clark set a leisurely speed and flew them back to the old apartment balcony, the high rise buildings of Metropolis were glowing orange and pink under the setting sun.


	19. TCWCINAL

Chapter 18 - T.C.W.C.I.N.A.L

_Clark couldn't help but smile a little at that. So things were confusing, horrible, and Lois seemed to be afraid of him, but Lois was still Lois. Clark set a leisurely speed and flew them back to the old apartment balcony. The high rise buildings of Metropolis were glowing orange and pink under the setting sun._

When Clark arrived at the apartment balcony, he was unwilling to let Lois out of his arms, for he knew as soon as he released her it would be a great deal of work to get her back into them, and there were few things that could make him as happy as simply holding Lois could. The feel of her pressed against him, her weight balanced in his arms, the smell of her hair and the taste... well there would be no tasting tonight.

Clark let them slowly descend onto the cold stone floor below, rotating counter clockwise before his booted feet touched the ground. As Lois' feet came to the ground just a split second later, he spun her about so she left his arms in a twirl. _Better to let her go then watch her rip herself away..._

The spin seemed to take Lois by surprise: she spun around once, stumbled, and almost face planted. "What the hell was that Clark?" Lois demanded as she righted herself.

Clark shrugged, "Pay back for calling me incredibly old?"

Lois didn't laugh. Then again he hadn't been expecting her too. She just glared at him. He couldn't help but smile, he loved her glares. When glaring did not get whatever affect she had desired, Lois walked to the balcony doors and opened them up to let herself in.

Clark followed after her and frowned when he looked around what was once his home. If they were going to be staying there, even just for a day, it would need to be cleaned up. At least the floor would need it; Lois wasn't impervious to glass shards.

"Lois?" he called for her attention softly.

"What?" Lois turned on heel and asked obviously not in the mood for conversation.

"I'm going to clean up, could you step outside for just a second?" He asked.

"A second?" Lois shrugged, "Fine, whatever," Lois stepped past him back onto the balcony.

Clark had found through out his life that there was nothing like super-speed for dealing with annoying chores. In the one second he had requested he dusted the whole apartment, swept and vacuumed the floor with a self made vacuum, and righted all the furniture.

Lois walked back in with a smirk, "Okay it's been a se-" She looked around at the cleaned apartment.

"Faster then a speeding bullet," Clark said proudly.

"Damn Smallville!" Lois walked in slowly, "Did you always do your chores this fast?"

"Pretty much," Clark confessed.

"No wonder the cows were always so disturbed..."

Clark couldn't help but laugh.

Lois looked like she was going to join him but shook her head and faked a grandiose yawn complete with stretching. "Well, I'm exhausted. I think I'll just go to bed."

"Good idea, I think I'll join you," Clark said without thinking.

The horrified look on Lois' face replaced the need for words.

"No... I didn't mean join you in the bed... I meant... look sorry that was..." Clark looked at the floor, "I'll just shut up and make up the couch..." Clark was unsure how many times an argument between them had ended that way, but this certainly wasn't the first time.

The slamming of the bedroom door was the only response Clark was expecting and it was exactly what he got. Clark rubbed his temples and sighed, "Great one Kent... just brilliant... 'I think I'll join you'... just what she needs to hear..." Clark looked up and went into the closet to find some spare sheets. He fought with the temptation to listen in to what Lois was doing. She needed her space. Since she was now afraid of him, the last thing he needed to do was stalk her... but it was damn tempting. _What was the point of Super Powers if you can't stalk the one you love? _God! he was acting like a teenager again!

With great force of will Clark pushed the thoughts of Lois to the back of his mind, where he let himself remember that she would be taking off her clothes, slipping beneath the sheets of... _damn it! _How did he live this long without sex anyway? _Stop it! You are Superman for Christs sake! H_e scolded himself, but he knew it was no use. Love made him a fool as easily as anyone else, possibly easier.

After digging through a pile of sheets and finding enough bedding that hadn't been destroyed by time for him to sleep under, Clark accepted the fact that he would not be brushing his teeth and looked down at the sofa.

"Hello old friend," Clark said to it, "Bet you thought you had seen the last of me," Clark laughed a little, "But we have at lest one more night." he said as he unfurled the sheet over it and sat down to take off his shoes. "She's not ready to share a bed with scary alien guy..." Clark sighed as his boots fell to the ground.

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

Superman woke with a start to the sound of screaming and glass breaking in his kitchen. Without a second thought Clark ran into the kitchen to find Lois wide eyed, broken glass at her feet, leaning against the refrigerator as if she were barring it from an intrusion. Her hair was a mess, she wore long flannel pajamas and her breathing was in a state of panic.

"Lois what's the matter?" Clark asked deeply concerned.

"There's a-" Lois looked at him and her eyes got even wider, "Ahhh!" She covered her eyes, "Damn it Smallville! Put some clothes on!"

"What?" Clark looked down, he hadn't thought. Over the years he had grown accustomed to sleeping in the nude. For many years it had made certain things easier, and he had never felt the need to change the habit. "Oh." Lois had never reacted this way to seeing him naked, and it wasn't as if they didn't have experience in that, even in her time reference. "I thought Clark Jr. didn't offend your delicate feminine sensibilities?" Clark asked with a mischievous smile.

"Very funny," Lois said dryly, but she still hadn't removed her hands from over her eyes.

Clark sighed and got his sheet to wrap around himself. He came back into the kitchen and looked at Lois, who was looking at the ceiling, "Okay, I'm covered, happy now?" Clark asked.

"No, I get up for a glass of milk and get slimed by God knows what in your refrigerator! It's like a horror movie in there!" Lois told him.

Clark sighed, "I guess that answers the question of what 37 year old food looks like. I guess I should clean it out."

"You are going to need a flame thrower!" Lois told him.

"You would think," Clark smiled and walked across the glass, crushing it under his feet then swept Lois into his arms, who yelped in surprise.

"Clark! What the hell are you doing?" she demanded.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself," he told her as he carried her over the glass and back into the front room.

"How about a little warning next time? Hmmm?" Lois asked looking at him angrily.

Clark sighed and placed her on the couch, his sheet sliding down around him slowly. He found himself staring into her eyes searching for answers to questions he dare not speak. But the answers did not seem to be there in her brown orbs, nor in the silence that permeated the room. 'Why are you afraid of me?' he wanted to ask so badly, but fear caught the words in his throat. He couldn't speak the words aloud, couldn't live with any answers other then 'I'm not,' so he turned away from her and went back into the kitchen to remove the slime from his refrigerator.

Heat vision, as it turned out, was not only an effective weapon against monsters but also a very affective cleaning and disinfecting tool.

When Clark returned to the front room Lois was sitting on the couch, staring out the window. Clark allowed himself a moment just to drink her in. Her lovely long hair was coiled up in knots and sticking out at odd ends, how many times had he run his fingers through those locks while she gazed down at him? She wore a pair of Pjs that made her look like she was wrapped in the Times crossword puzzle. He wondered if she knew just how much that set made him want to write on her, always had from the day she bought it. Of course she wouldn't... Clark sat down next to her on the couch.

"Oh, you're back," Lois said flatly but she didn't turn to look at him.

"Yeah, sorry the slime molds didn't kill me," Clark replied.

"Very funny," Lois said without laughing and an eerie silence fell over the room.

"Look Lois, I think we-" Clark started but was interrupted before he could get off the ground.

"I want Milk." Lois told him.

"Well..." Clark was little thrown by the suddenness of her request.

"I can't get back to sleep without it," Lois told him, "Could you go run to a store and pick up some?"

"Well I suppose I could find some money..."

"And peanut-butter." She added, "They still have that right."

"Well um okay." Clark agreed. She was right there was no food in the house and, unlike him, Lois had to eat. Clark got up off the couch.

"Oh and Smallville?"

"Yeah?" He asked turning to face her.

"Put on some damn pants!" She commanded.

"Yes Ma'am!" He saluted her, which incidentally caused the sheet to fall from his grasp once more.


	20. Balance

**Chapter 19 - Balance**

"_Put on some damn pants!" She commanded._

"_Yes Ma'am!" He saluted her, which incidentally caused the sheet to fall from his grasp once more._

Clark returned to the apartment after having run quite some way to find a store open that had both milk and peanut butter. But after much struggling and hardship, with prize in hand, as well as other edibles, he returned victorious.

Clark opened the door and made his grand entrance. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had to run across half of metropo-" Clark stopped mid word when he saw Lois. Fast asleep she leaned on the arm of the couch, face soft and relaxed, her mouth was slightly ajar and a line of drool ran down onto the red velvet beneath her right check.

Clark dropped his bags on the floor lightly and approached her, his heart pulling against his better sense. He knelt in front of her so they were once more on even levels.

"Can't get to sleep without it, hmmmm?" Clark whispered and stroked her silken check with the backs of his fingers brushing back a few stray hairs that had fallen before her face. "Curse your lying, soft, beautiful, tempting lips..." Clark leaned in, lips softened and ready to touch hers once more...

In his 100-odd years of life on Earth Clark Kent had made his share of mistakes, occasionally repeatedly. They generally fell into two categories: romantic (he missed that tennis ball) or cataclysmic world ending mistakes. When he made the latter there was always a body count, the cost of taking the weight of the world on his shoulders. Indeed, as far as Clark Kent mistakes went, this one barely rated a 4.

His eyes closed, soft lips touched his and he breathed in the smell of Lois, making his heart flutter in his chest just once before he felt what would have been a rather harsh slap in the face were it not for his invulnerability.

Lois pulled away from him sharply; streaming out curse words in three different languages she cradled her injured hand.

"Oh God! Lois I'm so sorry!" Clark said sincerely when he realized just what he had done. "I wasn't paying attention I just got so... I'm so, so very sorry. Is your hand okay?"

Lois didn't seem to be listening, "Fucking hell! Damn it! è madre di mangiare pollo!"

"Lois I'm sorry," Clark took her hand, "but don't you think saying I ate my mother is going a little too far?" he asked looking down into her eyes.

"Yeah well... what did you think you were doing anyway?" Lois said in that way she did when not wanting to admit he was right.

"Kissing the girl of my dreams," Clark replied without a beat and while Lois was dumb struck he took her hand and x-rayed it. "Nothing's broken but ... would you like some ice for it?"

"What?" Lois looked dazed for a moment, "Oh... right, the hand. Sure, ice would be good." Lois said dismissively.

Clark picked up his bag of groceries and restocked the now clean refrigerator, poured Lois her glass of milk and made up some quick ice using a bowl and his freeze breath.

Lois was stone faced when he came back in.

"Here," He said taking her hand and placing the ice wrapped up in a surviving kitchen towel on it. He put the glass of milk down before her and looked up at her face, "I got what you asked for, and some other things, I didn't know how you wanted your peanut butter though."

"Yeah uhh, thanks Clark," Lois said and drank down some of the milk.

"Though you seemed to go to sleep just fine without it," Clark teased her lightly.

Lois stared at him over the rim of the glass. She was using it as a shield, he knew, so she wouldn't have to respond before she was good and ready with a come back. When she was the glass came back down.

"Well sorry," Lois said sarcastically, "I thought a guy with super speed wouldn't take so long to get a simple carton of milk."

"It's three in the morning..." Clark countered and gestured to the milk mustache she was now wearing.

"Super Speed shut down after midnight?" Lois asked flatly, not seeming to get the hint.

"All the stores I know are gone... Lois you have a..." He gestured again.

"A what?" Lois asked, obviously annoyed.

"Here," he sighed and reached out his hand then to grasp her chin. Her face read as annoyed but he could see the light of curiosity shinning through her eyes. He was infinitely relieved when he couldn't spot a drop of fear. That was until his thumb reached out and caressed her upper lip, wiping away the milk there perhaps just a little too slowly; he couldn't help but savor the touch just a little. He felt Lois quiver a little then her eyes met his and he saw the fear had returned. He pulled back as if he had been burned.

"Sorry, you had milk..." he said lamely showing her his thumb.

"Yeah, got that," Lois replied and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. "I should... go to bed, I need some sleep," Lois said and headed towards the bed room once more.

"Lois wait," He reached out and grabbed her hand. Lois turned then and looked up at him. "Can we please, just not leave things like this... please?" He begged her.

Lois looked at him, "Clark..." she said slowly, possibly ready to admonish him for his childish behavior, but he didn't let her. He simply couldn't take this dance anymore.

"I'm sorry Lois... I know I'm not making things easy," He said looking down, "I know you-" his throat dried up before the words could leave his lips, "_This_ isn't normal, but please," He looked up at her then, "Just... please don't hate me."

Lois looked at him dumbfounded. She blinked a few times before she shook her head and laughed, "Jeeze, Smallville, I don't hate you," she said, rolling her eyes and taking her arm back from his stunned grasp. "Where do you get these ideas anyway?" she said walking back into the bedroom leaving him to blink.


	21. Dance

**Chapter 20 - Dance**

_Lois looked at him dumbfounded. She blinked a few times before she shook her head and laughed. "Jeeze, Smallville, I don't hate you," she said, rolling her eyes and taking her arm back from his stunned grasp. "Where do you get these ideas anyway?" she said walking back into the bedroom leaving him to blink._

_****_

_Clark could smell her before anything else. She had come into the front room smelling of mouth balls, expired shampoo, peanut butter and something else, something that was undefinable Lois. Clark stayed under the covers on the couch. He kept his eyes closed enjoying the comfortable moment of listening to her soft breathing and the constant rhythm of her heart beat._

_He was surprised when he heard her footsteps approach and she sat down on the very edge of the couch just millimeters away from him. He didn't know how he managed to keep his curiosity at bay but he remained in his fained sleeping state._

_He felt her hand slide along his body the only thing separating their skin a thin layer of cotton, "I know you are awake, Smallville," She whispered in his ear._

_He slid his eyes open to find her stretched over him wearing only one of his shirts, her curled hair dancing against his skin. His breath caught in his throat, she was so beautiful._

_A smile was curving her lips and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she spoke. "I couldn't sleep, I just kept thinking about you out here... and I know you've been thinking of me."_

"_Lois what are you-" He started to ask but her finger came up from his chest to press against his lips._

"_Shh," Lois whispered, "Just go with me here." Her eyes twinkled and she removed her finger from his lips only to replace it with her own. Kissing him softly but needily. Clark couldn't hide his desire as he returned the kiss hungrily, his arms came up grasping her shoulders and pressing their bodies together. Her fingers stroked his cheeks encouragingly as her lips parted allowing him to taste her once more._

_When they broke away he was panting and already straining with need for her, it had indeed been too long. Lois' hands went to the buttons of the shirt she wore. He reached up to help but she pushed him away._

"_Let me," she told him breathlessly, and slowly, teasingly undid the top button. Then the next and the next, with each one came a tantalizing bit more of her body for him to see. _

_He had almost forgotten how young she was. Her skin was so soft and smooth, no longer adorned by loving years. His right hand reached out and cupped her still firm left breast. His thumb drifted across her nipple, she arched into his touch and hissed in pleasure. Clark couldn't help himself, he did it again. The sight of her straddling him, moaning in pleasure was enough to cause his hips to thrust involuntarily and he moaned out: "Lois!"_

"_Smallville? ... _Smallville? Are you... okay?" Lois asked him.

"Lois?" Clark opened his eyes and looked at her. She wasn't moaning above him with only his shirt barely hanging onto her shoulders, she wasn't even wearing his shirt. She was sitting on the coffee table wearing the same crossword as the night before with an open jar of peanut butter in one of her hands.

Clark shifted a little and noticed he was still rather excited from his dream. Rather uncomfortably so... and Lois was looking at him with a worried expression. He shifted his hips trying to hide the tent he was pitching as she spoke.

"Yeah are you okay? You were making some rather weird noises." Lois said to him.

"I was dreaming," He told her hoping that his voice carried across his wish not to talk about.

"Good or bad?" Lois asked him sticking her fingers into the peanut butter jar and then into her mouth sucking on them.

Clark gulped. _If there is a God! Please make her stop!_ "I really don't want to talk about it," he said but he couldn't take his eyes off her lips. Her fingers came out with a pop.

"That means bad... or really good," Lois obviously thought that was rather funny.

Clark sat up, "I need a shower." he said.

"Okay," Lois said and stuck another finger full of peanut butter into her mouth.

"Could I get some privacy?" Clark asked.

"Huh?" Lois seemed confused.

"Well, since last time I exposed Clark Jr. to your delicate female sensibilities you threw the coffee table at me, and I still sleep nude." Clark told her, "I thought for the sake of the coffee table and your sensibilities you might go into the kitchen for a few minutes?"

"Fine I need some more milk anyway," Lois said dipping her fingers into the peanut butter jar. She arched a brow and sucked on them slowly.

Clark gripped the couch trying to force himself to look away and stop imagining what he would rather have her soft, beautiful, red mouth suc... Oh God! he really needed that shower.

Lois took her jar and walked out of the room apparently completely unaware of the effect she was having on him. For that Clark was eternally grateful. He was already freaking her out with his over the top affection, the last thing he needed to add was his pent up carnal desires to her reasons to be uncomfortable.

Once Lois was in the kitchen Clark got up and went to the bedroom to pick out clothes to wear for the day, once that was done he went into the bathroom for a shower. He hoped he hadn't totally reverted to a teenager, otherwise he was going to have to explain why the bathroom lit on fire.

*******

When Clark came back out Lois still wasn't dressed but had seemed to have finished her peanut butter breakfast. She was instead staring at a glass that had once contained milk. The evidence of it's former contents slowly succumbing to gravity and collecting at the bottom of the glass. Lois was moping, without the chocolate... this couldn't be good.

"You want me to go get some Rocky Road?" Clark asked as he sat down across the table from her.

"Don't you have a job or something?" Lois snapped at him, her face twisted into a scowl.

"No," He replied honestly, "I'm all yours."

Lois gave him a death glare, "Yeah that's just what I need, you." the sarcasm was dripping off her words.

Clark sighed, "You know that isn't going to make me leave."

Lois looked shocked by his calm reply and before she could speak again, Clark continued.

"We were married for almost 60 years Lois, I know all your little tricks." he said calmly. "You're going through something and with everything that's happened, I can't imagine it's been easy for you, because I know it hasn't been easy for me. I know you think that whatever it is, you have to keep it to yourself and go it alone, that's your way, but I'm telling you now, you don't have to. What ever it is, no matter what it is, you can tell me," Clark promised her as he reached out and took her hand in his own, "and we can go through it together."

Lois looked into his eyes and for a moment he thought they were shining with hope, but then a dark cloud fell over them and she brushed his hand away.

"It doesn't work that way Clark," Lois said.

Clark got up and knelt down on the floor next to her. "Why can't it, Lois?"

"Because that's not how things work!" Lois said, "That's not reality, I tell you all my little secrets and we hug? How does that help anyone? Best it will do is make you miserable... no, it's better if I deal with it, like I deal with everything. By myself." Lois said.

Clark frowned and looked up at her sadly. "Lois-"

"No, Clark, just, no!" Lois said and tried to get up to pull away.

Clark caught her hand, "Okay Lois... you don't have to talk to me. I won't ask any more questions... but... you have to dance with me."

"What?" Lois looked at him strangely.

Clark took her other hand and lead her into the front room, "Dance with me."

"Why?" Lois asked.

"Because seeing you unhappy makes me unhappy and there is more then one benefit to having been married for 60 years, Lois. Now just wait here a minute." He let go of her hands and was surprised to find she did stay. He turned on the old music player happy to see it still worked, his fingers knew the code to go to just the song he wanted. Sixty years of marriage did have many benefits to both parties, like having someone who knows all the ways to cheer you up.

As the music slowly began to start Clark took Lois' hand and placed the other at her hip, to sway lightly to the music. Lois recognizing the song immediately stared at him in confusion. When David Coverdale began singing Clark started to sing along. Well along was probably a stretch, at the same time was more accurate. If there was one thing Clark would never be super at it was singing.

"I don't know where I'm going  
But, I sure know where Ive been  
Hanging on the promises  
In songs of yesterday

An I've made up my mind,  
I ain't wasting no more time  
But, here I go again  
Here I go again"

Lois looked at him in horror as he continued to sway to the slow melody with her belting the lyrics passionately but off-key.

"Tho I keep searching for an answer,  
I never seem to find what I'm looking for  
Oh lord, I pray  
You give me strength to carry on,  
cos I know what it means  
To walk along the lonely street of dreams"

As the music picked up so did the pace of his dancing and he was sure his two left feet were already showing as he spun Lois around twice.

"An here I go again on my own  
Goin' down the only road Ive ever known,  
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone  
An Ive made up my mind  
I ain't wasting no more time!"

Lois was starting to grin cautiously. The joys of what she had once named 'his wacky dance' over powering whatever gloom had been shadowing her world.

He continued belting out her favorite song, over doing every word, every movement. By the second round of the chorus Lois had stopped trying to hold her laughter in. By the third, Lois joined his singing and started really dancing with him, not just going with his movements, but her singing was interrupted every now and then by bursts of giggles.

As the song came to a close Clark spun her around a few more times then caught her tight up against his chest in a half dip. He wasn't sure how exactly it had happened. One moment he was smiling down at her as she panted and grinned up at him with a look of pure joy, and the next their lips came crashing together.

******

Song is by Whitesnake and I own nothing...

P.S. Thanks for all your patients.


	22. Rational

**Chapter 21 - Rational**

_As the song came to a close Clark spun her around a few more times then caught her tight up against his chest in a half dip. He wasn't sure how exactly it had happened. One moment he was smiling down at her as she panted and grinned up at him with a look of pure joy, and the next their lips came crashing together._

Lois' lips were as soft and sweet as Clark remembered. He didn't know how it had even started but the kiss seemed to have a life of it's own; lips dancing over each other almost playfully, driving out all the thoughts in his head other then how wonderful it was to have Lois in his arms, kissing him. His hand found its way into her hair moving by instinct in all the ways he knew she loved to be touched.

He felt her moan against his lips and press herself close. One of her hands cupped the side of his face and the other was stroking the small of his back. Her tongue darted out just tasting his lips which called his own into action. He delved in tasting her for the first time in such a long time, and their tongues began dancing as their lips had done before.

He was so entranced by their kiss that he almost didn't notice when the cupping of his cheek became more of a push then a cup, and the stroking of his back became an attempt to wedge their bodies apart.

Clark felt his heart sink and let her push him away. Lois was gasping for breath and staring daggers at him.

"That's... not... fair!" She said accusingly. "This isn't me! This isn't us! We annoy each other! We don't ki- we don't! You're cheating!"

"What?" Clark was dumbfounded, how could she accuse him of cheating after she said he didn't? Before he could even put another thought together Lois continued.

"With your, 'I know all your little secrets' moves! And your big kicked puppy eyes! And I need yous! And random confessions of love in IHoP! This isn't me! You're cheating! It's not fair!"

"Lois what are you-" but he couldn't even get out a full sentence before she continued.

"And all these sob stories! It's like everything that comes out of your mouth is why I should feel sorry for you! 'I watch everyone die. My life is nothing without you!' It's like pull my pity chain! And with all that you can't even do it fully clothed! Even when you are wearing clothes! What is with that outfit anyway? Want everyone staring at your super!Junior or what? I mean really! How am I suppose to think straight with you wearing that? It's like something from an S&M catalog!" Lois ranted.

"What?!" Clark was completely shocked.

"I thought the Green Arrow was bad... but you..." Lois continued as if he had not spoken, "You take things to a whole new level with that get up! I mean it is totally not my fault that I can't keep my mind out of the gutter with you prancing around in bondage gear! And who the hell said you could be a good kisser! You're Smallville! You should drool all over me and fall down or something! This," gestured between them, "is so because you cheated!"

"I cheated?" Clark said finally starting to get where Lois might be going with this.

"You fly for Christ's sake!" Lois said swinging her arms out for affect, "How is that not cheating? 'Oh Lois! I've missed you so much! Let me fly you off into the fucking sunset!' It's infuriating! It's impossible! It's all your fault because you have been cheating since the moment I got here! and you know what? I'm putting my foot down. No more grinning at me, or staring, or declarations of love, or 'knowing all my tricks.' No more puppy eyes or 'I missed you's, or sad stories or hell, no more stupid stories at all! And there will be no more nakedness and when you wear clothes you will wear your god damn clothes! Not that S&M get up you call a disguise, got it?"

"Lois," Clark said reaching out and brushing his hand along her cheek, "I know this isn't exact-"

Clark was fast. He had been fast since he was rather young and just seemed to get faster as he got older. While he was not the fastest man alive, that title belonged to the Flash, he had a reputation for being faster then a speeding bullet, something very few creatures could claim. Yes Clark was indeed very very fast, so why was it that before he could even finish a sentence or blink an eye Lois was kissing him again and he didn't have the reaction time, or will, to stop it?

The kiss was wild and passionate. Her lips almost battling with his own while her hands stroked his shoulders and chest. Clark moved his right hand to run it through her tangled locks, while his left slipped around her waist and pulled her even closer to him.

"What did I just say?" Lois said angrily when she finally pulled back for air.

"I'm wearing pants," He replied whispering into her ear. He nuzzled his nose against her ear then sucked the lob into his mouth.

Lois let out a gasp, "Smallville!" she almost squeaked but continued to stroke his back, "Oh... this... this is so wrong," she whispered breathlessly.

Clark pulled back sharply her words stung his very core, "No," he told her staring into her eyes, "Not wrong, not this, everything else can be wrong, but not this." His voice cracked as he spoke, "I love you too much... I need you too much." His thumb brushed her check again worshipfully.

Lois' eyes lost their lusty hue and filled with sorrow and a glint of fear. Clark felt his heart breaking to pieces all over again. Not the fear... he could live with anything but the fear...

"Clark," Lois said in an unsure voice.

"Please, why are you afraid of me?" Clark said before his own fear could rob his words or Lois could continue. At his words Lois' face softened and though the fear remained in her eyes, he could see it wasn't directed at him as he thought.

"I'm not afraid of you Clark." Lois said looking into Clark's face which he knew must have been a pathetic sight of neediness, "It's just -"

"Kal-El?"


	23. Timing

**Chapter 22 -** **Timing**

"_I'm not afraid of you Clark." Lois said looking into Clark's face which he knew must have been a pathetic sight of neediness, "It's just -" _

"_Kal-El?"_

Princess Diana of Themiscara had many virtues. Knowing when not to interrupt was not one of them. Diana was glaring at him sternly her hands on her hips. Her stare always was able to terrify his inner teenager: it felt a bit like the time his mother caught him with Lois in the bathroom. Of course he was a grown man now who could make out with his wife whenever he damn well pleased. Now if he could just stop feeling like he was caught doing something naughty… He knew what Diana was thinking and he should have expected something like this. He had been awol all day. _You really need to start paying more attention_, he chided himself.

While he was distracted Lois slipped out of his arms to stare at Diana. Clark was tempted to pull Lois back into his arms and kiss her senseless, audience or no audience, but that would probably incite Lois' kick response. Diana was hardly an ideal audience, if she thought he had lost it... well there would be consequences.

"Diana," Clark said as he reluctantly looked away from Lois. "I was going to cal-"

"Damn it are you people Super Heroes or a fetish club?" Lois asked interrupting his sentence without pause.

"Excuse me?" Diana asked.

"What is your costume anyway? Tie me up swimsuit Barbie? It's almost worse then Clark's black and white stare at my package vinyl." Lois continued.

"Lois..." Clark groaned.

Diana blinked a few times then smiled, "The resemblance is remarkable..." she said looking to Clark.

"It's not remarkable at all, because it's not resemblance." Clark correct Diana.

"You mean...?" Diana looked shocked.

"I mean," Clark nodded.

"Would you two use a sentence with nouns?" Lois asked and Clark looked at her. She was confused and pissed and he felt guilty then for letting her get lost in the conversation.

"You are 100% Lois," He said to her with a grin then looked at Diana. "Confirmed by Starlabs."

Diana grinned brightly and ran up to Lois throwing her arms around her. "Lois! Sister I have missed you a great deal!" she cried happily and swung Lois around in two full circles before parting then hugging her tightly again.

Lois however was not so happy, her eyes pleaded with him and a look of confusion and discomfort graced her features, 'Help me!' she mouthed and Clark felt horribly guilty once more.

"Diana," He said placing his hand on her shoulder, "She doesn't know you."

"How could she not know me?" Diana looked concerned then. Diana had always formed special connections to women who didn't play by 'man's rules.' As such, she and Lois had been fast friends and partners in driving him up the wall once he had introduced them. Of course there were times when the two would fight like alley cats. Diana's morality always stood apart from his own, which Lois shared. That had caused fights between him and Diana as well.

"She's from before you two met." Clark explained.

"Time travel!?" Diana's face went from concerned to condemning. The whole of the Justice League had had more then there fair share of time traveling issues. Any time traveler could be more then exceedingly dangerous; it seemed that Diana believed that to be the case with Lois as well.

"Yes, a White Martian brought her here and-" Before he could finish Diana was snapping at him.

"What is she still doing here? If you know, send her back! She can't be here now!" Diana yelled at him fiercely. "It will only corrode the time stream!" Of course she was right and he knew that but... Lois had said no and he couldn't force her to leave, it wasn't in him.

"Excuse me!" Lois said, "I'm still here and since it's my life I think my vote is the only one that counts! And I voted no! You got me! So stop yelling at him!" Lois pushed herself between himself and Diana. "If you want to yell at someone about this, yell at me! Stop talking to him like I'm not in the room because I swear if you do that one more time I am going to take you down! I don't care if you can fly, or have heat vision, or can walk through walls or whatever the hell your powers are!"

Clark placed his hands on Lois' shoulders, "Lois that is a really bad idea. I don't want anyone to get hurt here." Superman often played the calm mediator in his life so it was an easy role to slip into, but this was a case of his wife threatening to get into a smack down with an Amazon warrior Goddess. Which, if her plan worked, meant he would be having a smack down with an Amazon warrior Goddess because there was no way he would let Diana hurt Lois, even if she started the fight. Both women had a temper, he just hoped that Diana was using some of that Amazon wisdom to know not to push this.

"It's alright Kal-El," Diana told him then looked at Lois herself, "It seems your brashness did not come from age but however brash I won't get into a fight with you Lois. I respect you too much for that. However, your choice is worriesome. The consequences of time travel are sever for all involved."

"Gee? you think Wonderbra?" Lois asked dripping with sarcasm. "Thanks! What with all the freefalling and weird alien monsters using me as a human shield, I didn't have time to think that time travel might be _dangerous_. "

Clark felt his stomach turn. This wasn't going to end well. He looked to Diana in hopes that reason was still prevailing.

Diana's look was a sort of confused mommentary horror before she turned to him and in a very serious voice said, "Kal-El, I may need to spank this woman."

Clark nearly choked as the very enticing image of Diana doing just that to Lois came crashing into his mind. _Damn it… why am flashing back to being a teenager again?_

"You really are a prostitute…" Lois commented and Clark suddenly felt himself gain yet another super power: the ability to see the future and in it Lois was broken and bloody on the floor as he was too late to stop Diana from snapping.

Clark shook his head and snapped out of that illusion in time to catch Diana's arm before she said or did anything. "We need to talk," he said and started pulling her away from Lois which actually did require some super-strength, "We'll be right back," he told Lois without looking at her and just focused on getting Diana out of the apartment before something exploded.

Once out on the balcony he finally looked at Diana, "I'm sorry about that, she's feeling very defensive right now. Beating her up won't help the time line."

Diana nodded and took a few deep breaths then looked him straight in the face, "And neither is your coddling her. She has to go back."

"I know," Clark said and felt his heart break with the words. Of all the things he wanted, Lois staying with him was at the top, yet he couldn't keep her. "I know…"

"Then why aren't you sending her back?" Diana demanded.

"Because I can't force the choice on her! She still has rights!" Clark argued back. He and Diana often disagreed about where lines were to be drawn. In the case of time travelers he at least understood her point, but so much had already been forced out of Lois' hands, he couldn't force this choice on her. It had nothing to do with what he wanted. _Just keep telling yourself that…_ nothing to do with his heartbreak.

"Well if you won't do it then you'll have to convince her to go back. No matter what." Diana warned.

"Don't you think I know that!?" Clark snapped suddenly, the weight bearing down on him breaking his heart once more, "Don't you think I know that every second should be the last?" Clark wanted to throw something, smash everything so it looked how his heart felt, but it was pointless. Facts wouldn't change no matter what he wanted. "I know Diana," he breathed a sigh, "I'm trying." He said and looked at her.

Diana's face had changed from the hardened warrior and filled with sympathy. "I'm sorry for you Kal-El." She said softly now. "If you should need something-"

"I wont," Clark told her, "I can deal with it." His stony facade was back up, he couldn't deal with this without it.

Diana nodded, "I understand, I'm trusting you here Kal-El." Neither of them was smiling now. Her face was dead serious reflecting just how he felt as well.

"I know, thank you." He told her as she turned to leave. She was trusting him to take care of the time line. He was grateful for that at least.

"Oh," Diana turned back for a moment "and Kal-El…"

"Yeah?" He asked her curiously.

A little smile quirked her mouth as she replied, "Check your communicator every now and then would you?"

************

Author's note – Hi everyone who is still reading with me! I want to thank you all for sticking with me through my horribly rocky updating schedule… I can't promise another update soon but I can and repeatedly will promise that I will NOT give up on this story. I promise. I will get to the end! So don't fear about that unless you are like terminally ill and only have a few months to live… then umm I'm sorry…


	24. Determined

**Chapter 23 – Determined **

"_Oh," Diana turned back for a moment "and Kal-El…"_

"Yeah?" He asked her curiously.

A little smile quirked her mouth as she replied, "Check your communicator every now and then would you?"

Once Diana was gone, Clark was left alone with the sinking heartbreak of reality. He was also alone with gnawing question of how he was going to convince Lois to do anything she didn't want to do much less the last thing in the world _he_ wanted her to do. Oh certainly he had some experience at the former, he had after all managed to convince her to go out with him. But that had taken months and rather than fearful of the result, he had been down right desperate for her. So much had changed since then, but that hadn't.

Clark looked at the glass doors that lead back into the apartment. He would have to convince her somehow; the boy he had been needed her too, the question was, how? Since he had no idea why she was staying at all it made it difficult to argue a different course, so perhaps that was what he needed to start with.

Clark looked through the walls to find Lois. She was sitting on the bed in the bedroom chewing on her thumb nail, which, Clark knew, she only did when she was pissed off and had nothing else to take it out on. It made sense that she was pissed off, and it made what had to be done harder. Lois wasn't going to open up if he was 'The big fat jerk who talks about her behind her back.' He would have to apologize before he could do what he wished to all the heavens he didn't have to. Clark watched her for a moment wanting at once to go to her and ease her tension, to hold her close and never let her go.

Clark closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, no he couldn't think that way, he had to stay focused. Even if it meant just focusing all his energy on one step at a time to fight off the nauseating dread in his stomach. Lois needed to calm down, she had to forgive him.

Of course forgiveness from Lois was not easily bought, or maybe he just wanted to put things off for as long as possible. He headed quickly to the nearest store to buy a bar of chocolate. Lois was always more agreeable with a bar of chocolate in her hand.

Over the decades that Clark had been isolated from the world many things had changed. The cars, the fashions, the magazines on the news stands, all were completely foreign to him. Thankfully snack foods remained, as if an island of stubbornness in a sea of ever changing trends, relatively the same and therefore Clark was able to find a simple milk chocolate bar without having to ask anyone. Which was good because like many a chocolate run in the past he was low on time.

"_Chocolate covered raisins, Gummy bears, a watermelon, peanut-butter M&M's and a foot rub," Lois Lane-Kent snapped back at her sheepish, guilt ridden husband._

"_Lois," Clark sighed, "I was serious." and he was, he knew it wasn't his fault Intergang had chosen their anniversary to hold half of Metropolis hostage, still he felt horrible._

"_Yeah and so was I," Lois replied, "Chocolate covered raisins, gummy bears, a watermelon, peanut-butter M&M's and a foot rub, that's how you can make up leaving me waiting at the restaurant and not even giving me first scoop on the story. Of course this offer only stands for the next twenty-five minutes so you better get your super butt going."_

"_What happens if I can't get them in twenty-five minutes?" Clark asked her._

"_With my hormones the whole list will change so scoot," Lois said._

"_I love you," Clark said then looked at her pregnant form, "I love you both"-_

Clark shook his head; some memories even now hurt to the core. When Clark returned to the present he found himself back at the apartment with a Dove milk chocolate bar and a box of raisenets, despite the fact he could not even recall buying it, in a little brown synthetic paper bag.

Lois still sat on the bed, but had stopped chewing her thumb nail when Clark came through the door. "Your fetish club meeting ov-" she stopped suddenly when he produced her jar of peanut butter with the milk chocolate bar stuck into it.

"I know it's not rocky road, but call it the optimist in me, I was hoping you wouldn't need that." Clark said trying to smile supportively while waving the items enticingly under her nose. Lois snatched the jar out of his hand and glared up at him.

"Don't think you can buy your way out of everything with food Smallville," Lois said but she took a decadent bite of the confection right after. Clark couldn't help but smile, as he sat down on the bed next to the still glaring Lois, at the use of his nickname. Only Lois had called him Smallville, and only Lois ever would.

"I don't try to," Clark said. "I also give great foot rubs and I can fly so that usually helps with the making things up..." Lois just glared at him from her peanut butter and chocolate confection. "Well in this case it wasn't meant to make up for anything. Diana can be well, let's just say she's not someone you pick fights with. Really I just didn't want you to be upset right now. I don't like seeing you upset."

Lois looked at him, and he could tell that she was trying really hard to stay upset at him.

"How do you do that?" Lois demanded of him, "How can you be so infuriating and so hard to be mad at at the same time? Do you just like making my life difficult?"

"No I just like you," Clark replied causally, he was falling into a comfortable ease with her again, simply enjoying the way he could get her eyebrows to twitch, which was probably a bad thing. He had to stay serious, had to talk to her about things he didn't even want to think about and it was so much easier just to be with her.

"You are impossible." Lois informed him handing him back the jar of peanut butter devoid of it's chocolaty friend as Lois had finished it off moments before.

Clark felt himself grin from ear to ear, "You say that a lot."

"Stop it!" Lois said and stood up; she sounded pissed off. "Stop smiling, stop talking like we are so close! Just stop!" She yelled at him.

"Lois-" Clark started to say softly; this certainly took a turn for the worse quickly and that was typical of Lois, however before he could even think of what to say next Lois interrupted him.

"Don't you Lois me!" She yelled at him but her voice cracked as she spoke shifting subtly from anger to hysteria, "I can't take it! It's in your voice every time you say my name and I just can't Clark okay! You got to just shut up and let me get angry again! It's so much easier when I can just be pissed off at you!" She ranted, throwing around her arms and moving as far away from him as she could without actually leaving the room, leaving her standing in the corner next to the closet.

"Lo-" Clark stopped himself from saying her name but walked back into her personal space and placed his hands on her shoulders, "What's so much easier?" He asked her softly, his right hand coming up to brush her hair aside from her cheek as they stared into each other's eyes.

"You! Dealing with you and your insanity!" Lois pulled away from him and started ranting. "I get here _yesterday_ and you're colder than the General and now you're all needy and lovey puppies or something with your big broken eyes and stories about how great we were and your stupid pantlessness except when anyone else shows up; then I get talked over like I'm not even in the room, like you are ashamed of me! And you know what? You are putting me in one hell of a position! With your whole 'You left me alone! I'm so broken but now you have to leave!'-bull, it's intolerable! You show me all this crap and just expect me to go back and play along making this the future? Well I'm pretty damn sure I'm not doing anything but preaching to the choir here when I say, _This Future Sucks_! So I'm staying here and I'm staying mad until that stupid history thing gets erased and you turn into a you that I can understand again!" Lois finished her rant almost panting in exhaustion from the sudden release of all the feelings she had held in for so long.

If Superman's powers included those of PlasticMan he would have had to remove his jaw from the floor, as it stood he merely stared at Lois in a stupor. Of all the fears and hopes Clark had had going into this particular conversation the rant that had just been thrown at him had not even been on the list of considerations. Perhaps it should have been but the emotional roller coaster he himself had been taking left him little time to truly consider just how this all must appear to her.

"Lois I-" Clark fumbled. His history with her gave him no particular insight on how to react to that; he was truly relying on his own bumbling ways. He stepped back to her and placed his hands on her shoulders reassuringly, "I'm sorry, I should have thought about this more from your point of view." He said, looking deeply into her eyes.

"Yeah well, it doesn't matter," Lois tried to brush him off, "I've made my choice. Call it crazy or stupid I don't care, it's mine."

Clark didn't let her go so easily. "It's not stupid or crazy Lois," he told her."I've given you every reason to feel that way and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have been so selfish, but I can't help it, really. You were the one thing I would let my self be selfish about."

Lois's breath caught for just a moment before she frowned again, narrowed her eyes and asked, "Do you actually know the meaning of the word stop?"

"I'm sorry Lois I just don't know how else to be." He told her suppressing a light laugh.

"You used to have it down real well." Lois snapped.

"Yes well... I was younger and stupider then."

Lois still looked rather pissed off, "What do you want from me Clark?"

"I thought that was obvious," Clark smirked, but Lois didn't smile. "Err... sorry, you're right, I shouldn't be doing that. I really don't know how to stop. You just being here makes me feel like a school boy and I'm not sure what to do with that. But you are right... I shouldn't be flirting with you."

It was only going to make everything harder, for both of them. Clark didn't want that. He looked at Lois' determined face, she was putting on a show of impenetrably bravado against his hopeless flirting. Clark clenched his jaw and folded his arms as he came to a determined point.

"Lois, we really need to talk," he told her.

Lois was staying because she rejected this future as horrible, and it was his fault, so now it was his job to change her mind.

Sorry this took so unbelievably freaking long. Thanks for waiting and poking and PMing and reviewing... oh Please review! It helps me write I swear it does! Thanks as always to my beta! I couldn't do it without you!


	25. Obvious

**Chapter 24 - Obvious**

"_Lois, we really need to talk," he told her._

_Lois was staying because she rejected this future as horrible, and it was his fault, so now it was his job to change her mind. _

"About what?" Lois asked, and he could tell she was try her best to sound as annoyed as possible. "What's there left to talk about?" It was of course classic Lois to slam down her walls this way after having shown any kind of vulnerability, and if circumstances were different he would know just what to do to send them crashing down again: it might involve chocolate, or tickling, flying or silly strip teases, but none of those were really appropriate. Lois didn't deserve to have to deal with his unfettered affections right now. As much as it pained him to restrain himself, she was right when she said she had enough on her mind. What she needed and deserved was the truth.

"What's been left out in all of this. I've given you a rather one sided view of everything, and if you are going to make a choice like this, I think you deserve to know the other sides - because as miserable as I may be, this future, it's not as bad as you think." He told her.

"Oh really? What's so great about it?" Lois asked throwing up her arms.

"Let me show you," Clark offered her his hands.

"I kinda walked right into that didn't I?" Lois asked sarcastically.

"Yeah you really did," Clark said and felt himself smile; that was Lois after all. Now he just had to figure out exactly what would put the world into perspective for Lois.

"Fine," Lois sighed and took Clark's hand. That was when he noticed another problem.

"Err maybe you want to get dressed first?" He asked, seeing how she had spent a great deal of yesterday in her pajamas and that had been rather awkward- most likely she had even been on the news that way...

"Right," Lois said stepping away from him. "Little privacy here?" she asked when he didn't get up to leave.

"Of course," Clark said and headed back into the living room closing the door behind him. He needed an angle here and only had until Lois finished dressing to come up with one.

"Okay, it's a house," Lois said looking at the classic two story home surrounded by a white picket fence. "I've seen lots of houses here already and I don't think they'll just go away if I change the future, past, whatever the hell I'm changing is."

"Don't be so sure," Clark said unaware himself what exactly would happen if Lois' plan succeeded and history as he knew it was erased. Everything he fought for, everything El- no, that wouldn't happen. Lois would go back-

"What did you say?" Lois asked interrupting his thoughts and turning to face him.

"I said this isn't just any house," Clark replied. He had flown her here first because he remembered there talk on the roof of the Daily Planet. "James lives here."

"James?" Lois looked at him and frowned. The name obviously wrong a bell but she wasn't quite placing it.

"Chloe's grand son, remember I told you about him," Clark said.

"The kid who looks like Jimmy?" Lois recalled.

"Not exactly a kid anymore Lois, I think he's in his sixties now," Clark told her. "Come on," he grabbed her hand, "let's get a closer look."

"Wouldn't that be trespassing?" Lois asked.

"It would be, which makes it your specialty," Clark pulled Lois along until they were next to the side of the house. Clark peeked in through the kitchen window to see if he could spot James. It was a little overtly stalkerish for how he usually checked up on people but since Lois didn't have super vision or hearing they would have to go old school as it were. Having Lois at his side certainly made it easier to fall back into such old spying habits.

Together they watched the unfamiliar older man walk around his home, pet his small dog, talk to an older woman Clark assumed was his wife, he had heard the boy got married but he hadn't been there. He felt a tinge of regret at that. Lois had been getting weaker and weaker at the time and he simply had let the idea of going slide past him. He wondered how many other events he had missed in people's lives that he should be caring about. The man still looked remarkably like Jimmy, or at least how he imagined Jimmy would have looked had he ever gotten as old as James was now. Too young, he had just been too young-

"Okay..." Lois whispered to him, "I don't get it."

Clark looked at her confused face; her eyebrows lifted up in a typical 'clue me in here' request.

"It's just some old guy walking around his house." Lois continued explaining her lack of understanding in what if he didn't say anything was bound to become a rather amusing rant about peeping toms and the elderly, which would certainly lighten his spirits but would distract from his current mission. He needed to stay focused, because despite himself he still didn't want to convince Lois to leave him.

"An old guy who is Chloe's grandson," Clark said. "Look at him, he's just a small part of your very large extended family."

Lois turned a quizzical reporters eye back at James, "He does have that Jimmy chin, though I think I see a little bit of Chloe in the- Okay," Lois looked back at Clark, "So he's their grand son, what does that have to do with me staying or going?"

"You asked me to show you what is so great about this future Lois," Clark said putting her hands on her shoulders and turning her so she looked back in the window, "He's here, alive and well, a piece of family living on through the generations, telling his grand kids stories of his grandma and her crazy cousin Lois. He's here because you were there with his parents. If you don't go back, this future wont exist, and his life will just be gone as if it never was. His life, that's a good thing."

"This isn't my type of snooping," Lois said and pushed away from the window as if what she was looking at somehow burned her. "I like snooping on bad guys. This... this is just weird. So let's just move on to whatever else you have planned in your 'it's a wonderful life, even though I act like I want to kill myself' show."

Clark sighed. This certainly wasn't what he had hoped to hear - or maybe it was what he had hoped to hear, but it wasn't what he was looking for her to say. Whatever his hearts wish Lois seemed to either not be able to get his point or more likely refused to get it and the walls of sarcasm had come crashing down around her. He would get... _oh no! _He really needed to pay attention more; he should have learned so long ago to keep him super hearing open and now it seemed he payed the price for that lack of concentration as the police pulled up to the old house.

"Lois... we've got go now." Clark grabbed her hands quickly.

"Got to... oh my God the cops are here!" Lois cried loudly. "I told you this was a bad idea Smallville!"

"Can we argue about this later?" He asked, picking her up into his arms without waiting for an answer and running full tilt away from James Olsen's home and the police officers the old man had called on them. Mentally he crossed off the list of other relatives they might go see, obviously it wasn't that great of an idea.

Intermission:

.com/watch?v=Z8VD4JXUozM

End of Intermission.

With his next stop in mind, Clark took Lois back to the apartment that had been their home to once again dress warmly.

"So we are going back to fake heaven where that creature tried to rip my throat out why exactly?" Lois asked holding her parka.

"Because that's where I moved most of your things and I have some stuff I wanted to show you." Clark replied, "It's not so bad there really... mostly it's very quiet." It was very rare that the fortress got attacked... twice in the same week.

"Fine," Lois sighed grimly and started bundling up like an Eskimo. Clark always thought she looked so cute bundled up like that, and it was always a great deal of fun trying to get all those clothes off of- and that wasn't a helpful thought train. Of course it wasn't easy keep his mind on a track that ended with Lois leaving particularly after his libido seemed to have just woken up after at ten year power nap.

"There," Lois said when she had zipped the last zipper, "All ready to go to the igloo of doom!"

"Actually its' called the Fortress of Solitude." Clark corrected her as he grabbed her hand.

"The Fortress of Soli- Oh please God tell me I did not name that one too!" Lois looked disgusted with the idea.

"Hey it's a good name!" Clark protested.

"Oh so you came up with it huh?" Lois said in a teasing voice.

"Yes I did! And it's a good name for a Fortress and Superman is a good name for me so just cut it out." He replied defensively and swooped her into his arms.

Lois' eyes lit up with excitement and any dis-humor he might have had at the rather light-hearted mocking of his fortress' name dissolved into wonder at her joy. He could just stare into her brown eyes for an eternity and not notice the world passing them by. However he couldn't help but notice her joy turn slowly into awkward confusion, "Umm... Clark?" she asked.

"Oh right, flying," He recalled what he was not doing.

"You are such a dork," Lois said as she rolled her eyes at him. With a small chuckle at that Clark lifted them up into the sky at took off relatively slowly for the fortress.

Lois kicked her feet and watched the world passing beneath them. Clark kept his eyes on her, he could watch the world anytime he liked, but these moments with Lois were running out...

Clark wasn't surprised by how many boxes of things were marked only 'Lois'. He had packed their whole life together away under that label. Photo albums, knick knacks, newspaper clippings, home DVDs, her favorite movies, even the clothes that reminded him most of her had all made their way to boxes shoved in the corner of the fortress, never touched but preserved perpetually in its frosty cold.

He might have paused to reflect on just what it meant to be opening them now and what was really contained within if he were not on a mission looking for a single specific item. Super speed would help were it not for his fear of damaging any of what he had packed away, so instead he used his x-ray vision to search through the contents of each box without having to open any unnecessarily.

It took him a few minutes but it was not too long before he returned to where he had left Lois to wait. The bedroom was, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how he looked at it, the only truly comfortable place within the Fortress for anyone of non-Kryptonian heritage, so that was where he left her promising to return quickly: sitting on his silk sheeted bed. He walked back into his room with his hands behind his back, clutching his find away from Lois' sight. He felt a bit childish doing so but if he was going to surprise her with it, he might as well go all out.

"Okay," Clark smiled at her hoping at least this would make her happy again for a while if not reconsider her position on their future a bit. "Close your eyes."

"You've got to be kidding me." Lois said and rolled her eyes at him.

_Close enough,_ He took her momentary distraction, super-sped over to her placing the frame in her hands and got back to his position in front of her in a blink of an eye. He folded his arms before him and grinned cockily, he couldn't help it, there had to be some advantages to being him.

Lois blinked her mind seemed to be trying to catch up with the sudden change her eyes presented her. "What the-" she looked down at the framed certificate in her hands "What is this?" She asked him.

"Your Pulitzer," Clark replied coming over to sit down next to her, "For investigative journalism. You said you really hoped that you would make it. Well, here is proof that you made it all the way to the top."

"I seriously won a Pulitzer?" Lois stared at the certificate in her hands as if it were going to melt away if she blinked.

"Well you should have won more, but after the first luncheon the board became a bit biased against you going to another one." Clark told her truthfully, "But everyone knew when you deserved them."

Lois stared at the prize for a minute more then looked up at him her eyes no longer shocked or joy-filled as he hoped, rather they were full of frustration.

"Why are you doing this?" she demanded, "You're so damn miserable why are you trying to keep things the way they are, or will be, or whatever?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Clark asked turning to her and staring deep into her eyes, "It's because I need you."

"Clark," Lois looked at him like he had grown a second head "that makes no sense! You need me so you want me to leave?"

"No," He said taking her cheek in the palm of his hand and kept his eyes on hers, "I want you to stay. More than anything else I want you to stay here with me, because even when you pull away from me, even when you pretend you hate me, it's still better having you here then before." Lois's eyes stayed with him but her look of confusion grew profounder still. He found his hand sliding up to curl around her soft hair, "I want you to stay Lois," He pulled his hand away and swallowed, as if he could swallow down the pain in his heart, "but I _need_ you to go."

"Smallville-" Lois was about to say something but Clark couldn't stop to listen; he'd poured his heart out once more and he wasn't sure he would have the strength to do it again and still say what needed to be said.

"I needed you then, even if I didn't know it. If you just disappeared from my life, I don't know who I would be now, but I know I would never have been as good or as strong of a man as I was with you in my life. I need you to be there for me Lois." He clasped her hands then and braved looking up once more, "To challenge and inspire me the way no one else ever could. Our life together, even though I tried to forget, tried to push everything away, I wouldn-can't trade it, not even for a second chance."

Lois was silent, she was just staring at him. Clark was unsure if this was a good or a very bad sign. Of the many many things he had learned Lois to be, prone to silence was not one of them. It was in fact the very first thing he had learned along with her name and that she was addicted to nicorette gum, so facing down an awkward silence without a single babble from her meant something rather profound was going on in her head and not having Martian mind reading abilities Clark was deeply afraid it was something profoundly bad.

"Lois, please, I know-" He wasn't sure what he was going to say next he was pretty sure he was about to start rambling senselessly so it was only fair that Lois should interrupt him this time.

"Smallville," She said before he could continue his plea, and she locked her hands around the back of his head pulled him into a deep passionate kiss.

*Seriously beats herself for taking so long to write this* Errr anyway thank you all for reading! Thank you thank you! my beta for holding my hand through every freaking paragraph. You deserve a medal! Oh and for those of you wondering what the heck the intermission is about, I realized my great flaw in this fic is that there is no room for Lois to kick someone in the head...


	26. Needs

**Chapter 25 - Needs**

"_Smallville," She said before he could continue his plea, and she locked her hands around the back of his head pulled him into a deep passionate kiss. _

Of the many things Clark could pride himself on, being good at knowing when someone was going to kiss him was not one of them - a fact which had gotten him into more marital trouble then he cared to remember. So it was not a surprise to him that her sudden overwhelming kiss took him by complete surprise. Surprised or not his heart and body reacted immediately; his lips returned pressure against hers and his arms grasped her tightly to him**.** One hand sought the soft curls of her hair, the other the smooth lines of her back.

_Lois,_ he thought; it was all he could think. The taste her mouth, the touch of her tongue, the feel of her hair, the weight of her in his arms were all achingly familiar, yet part of him knew it was new to Lois despite the demanding way she pressed against him and claimed his lips.

Their kiss became impossibly more desperate and more furious as she pressed him down onto his back on the red silk sheets of his bed. Her hands moved between them to claw at the buttons of this white silk shirt. He let her, greedy to feel more of her skin against his, to have Lois' hand pressed against his heart beat. He loved her, wanted her, needed to be near her. His hands tried to roam across her back but he found her parka in the way; before any thought of better actions came to mind he tore it like tissue from her back.

An explosion of feathers awoke him to reality. He pulled away from her kiss. He shouldn't be doing this, letting this move so fast. She couldn't stay with him; he shouldn't take advantage of her. "Lois I'm-" was all he got out before he felt her rip the buttons off his shirt. He didn't know if she was mad at him or not until her head bent back down and he felt the caress of her lips against his neck. All thought of apologizes or protests left his mind as her tongue darted out to tease his pulse point. "Oh..." he moaned and his hands brushed aside the feathery remnants of her jacket on their way up to grasp her silky hair.

Lois' hands stroked the freshly exposed skin of his chest, her right hand coming to rest above his heart. He felt it fluttering between them, and wished it was the only thing between them. Seeking more his hand trailed down from her hair, so blonde it was strange to him, and brushed under her shirt to touch her heart in return. Lois's suckling of his neck stopped and she looked up to meet his eyes. Brown eyes bore into his blue; so full of passion, want, desire and love that it took his breath away. Tears came to his eyes. He never thought he would see that look again. "Lois," he said like the prayer it was and pulled himself up to kiss her again.

This kiss was different than the first, slower this time, but that wasn't all. Where before there had been an explosion of passion, this was an expression of love. With every dance of their lips, every taste of her tongue, he tried to show her, instruct her on just how much he loved her and he felt his heart soar with every glimpse that she was doing the same.

He was at one with himself again, mind, body, and heart all wanting, needing the same thing: more. He took his hand away from her heart and his other from her hair to reach down and lift off the burgundy shirt she still wore. She sat up away from him to help him lift it over her head and toss it aside. She was so beautiful, not that he had ever found her anything less, but now she was in her prime, perhaps even a little before, her skin was silky smooth as he ran his hands up her taunt stomach. He felt in step with her; the ache of having been left behind in time that had touched their final times together was absent.

She saw his tears now as she looked down at him for the smile dropped from her lips. She leaned down, pushing his hands up to cup her black silk bra covered breasts, and her lips came to kiss away his tears. "It's alright Smallville," she whispered to him, "I want this," he felt the silk of her bra become loose in his hands, she had unclasped it, "we can have this."

"I love you," He told her, and without waiting for a response or needing one, he rolled them over so she was laying on her back before him. He tossed away her bra so he could see all of her. Even though she looked pale against the red of his sheets Lois was flushed, almost blushing from head to toe; it made him smile. "So beautiful," he told her then kissed her again, letting himself drown in the feel of her skin beneath his.

Lois' hands tossed away the last of his shirt before moving down to try and pull away the pants she had been so insistent that he wear. Clark kept kissing her but lifted his hips to let her pull them away. He wanted desperately to savior every taste and every touch, to take his time re-memorizing every curve of her, but it had been too long and Lois seemed to have the same sense he did, that the universe would only give them a short time. They had to take from each other and take now. Once his pants where taken care of he pulled away her black Gortex pants, and very familiar devil panties so he could nestle against her warmth comfortably. He paused looking down into her eyes. He felt rushed and afraid at once, but Lois' soft brown eyes were full of need and impatient hunger.

"Smallville," She called him grasping his hand in hers and all his control broke away. He slid himself inside her and it felt like heaven - no better, like home. Their bodies moved together following a rhythm as old as time but the moves they had made their own long ago. His body knew instinctively how to make hers happy and he was rewarded with moans of joy and surprise at every mastered step. It was so right being with her and so different, him being the master and her the novice. He squeezed her hand and guided her as they both reached for the stars.


End file.
